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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Well, It’s April And We’ve Already Found The Most Meaningless Stat of All-Time

It took my wife pointing this out to me shortly after we got married, but sports (and especially baseball) have some of the dumbest stats in the world. She’s right. There are some extremely dumb and oddly specific stats in sports. Take this one for example. Max Muncy has 3 hits in a game. A game played on the same day his alma mater wins a Division-1 basketball national championship. And he’s the first person in history to do that!!!!!1!!!

Omg Mind Blown GIF by SYFY - Find & Share on GIPHY

What?! NO WAY!

I can’t believe he’s the first person to accomplish this oddly specific feat. If we wanna take it deeper, he’s also the first left handed batter to do it. Hell, he’s the first left handed batter named Max to do it. Let’s keep going!

Max Muncy is the first left-handed hitter named Max who also looks like my friend Beau in MLB history to have a 3-hit game on the same day his college won the Division I men’s basketball title.

Mind Blown Gif - IceGif

Like are the number of hits important in this stat? Would it even have been noteworthy if he only had 2 hits? Or do guys have 2 hits on the same day their alma mater wins a basketball natty all the time? What about 1 hit?

Stats are wild, man. You’ll also see things like Nolan Arenado is the first MLB player who wears #28 to hit single in his third at-bat during a Tuesday night game on the summer solstice of a leap year.

Like who is looking these stats up? And how? How can you confirm that? Are they just making them all up and goofin’ all of us? Because if so, I got tip my cap, because that’s one of the deepest, longest played out goofs in history. In fact, it’s the only goof in the history of goofs to fool enough people to fill 15,000 Staples Center’s stacked on top of each other during non-winter months.

It’s just funny how any stats are like fashion. Anything can be made better if you just add layers to it. Anything can be a “meaningful” stat if you tack on ridiculous additions to it. “Max Muncy has three hits” isn’t cool. Wanna know what’s cool? Max Muncy has three hits on a day where Baylor wins a natty” is cool.

I’m the only person in the history of blogging to ever write a blog about the ridiculousness of sports stats while wearing a Waffle House hoodie on a Wednesday morning in April of an odd year. Wild, huh?

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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