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Thursday, June 20, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Want A Crazy Ben Simmons Theory? He’s Doing Everything To Help Grow The WNBA

Ben Simmons loves women

With less than a week left before the NBA trade deadline, the whole basketball world is still obsessed with the strange saga of Ben Simmons. At this point, we all know the story. Simmons never learned how to shoot, it continuously cost his team, his coaches asked him to learn how to shoot, and Simmons has sat out the whole year in protest of such a demeaning request.

Will he be traded by the Thursday deadline? لعبة كريكت Who knows? What’s more interesting is the number of fines Simmons has racked up during his bizarre protest. As of February 1, Ben has forfeited over 20 million dollars… All because he doesn’t think basketball players should be forced to shoot. Knowing that no one in their right mind would give up all that money for such a stupid reason, I went searching for an explanation in the place that only has reliable sources, NBA Twitter.

After 45 minutes of scrolling through threads that ranged from ‘Ben Simmons is the Anti-Christ’ to ‘Ben Simmons is trying to join the Illuminati and his sit-out is a strange form of hazing,’ I was about to give up. اندرويد كازينو Then I saw this:

There it was! McGee-Stafford (a former WNBA player and current Australian league star), had inadvertently uncovered Simmons’s altruistic motive for his basketball boycott. Ben Simmons has been forfeiting his salary so that the 76ers can quietly a startup fund for a new WNBA team in Philadelphia! (probably).

As I kept digging, the signs all pointed to this conclusion. The WNBA had recently closed on $75 million funding, which is the largest capital raise in women’s sports history. Further, a random Twitter account even posted the jerseys for a potential Philly WNBA team! If that’s not convincing evidence I don’t know what is. العاب تجيب فلوس Clearly, Simmons’s fines are being used to help the WNBA expand to Philadelphia with Ben’s blessing.

So there you have it. Ben Simmons has sat out and left his teammates in the lurch for the sake of progress in Women’s basketball. It is the only logical explanation. No way that Ben Simmons is such a psychopath that he would willingly give up $20 mil just because someone asked him to do his job better. What a guy.

Gator Flint

Gator Flint is Philadelphia born and bred. He's a lover of all things sports. He writes what’s on his mind and his girlfriend proofreads it so he don’t sound too dumb. #GoBirds #TrustTheProcess Also, he is not a real gator.

Gator Flint