Wanna Hear A Joke? NFL Network Thinks There Are NINE Players In The League Better Than Derrick Henry

First off, this video is Viagra. My gosh. And I’m not just saying that for the number of stiff arms it features. It’s 5 straight minutes of running back porn. Derrick Lamar Henry Jr. is a man amongst children in the NFL. It’s absurd, and frankly, unfair.

Second, anyone who takes serious issue with the NFL Network’s Top 100 List is a certified doofus. Think about being a grown man or woman and getting bent out of shape that Patrick Mahomes was only 4th on this year’s list. Or that Lamar Jackson is #1. It’s a freaking list. A televised Bleacher Report slideshow. And you’re sending angry tweets based on the results? I bet you’re great to talk to at parties.

Now, with that said…

Imagine thinking there are nine players in the NFL who are better than Derrick Henry. Wouldn’t be me. Lol. It makes me chuckle just thinking about it. And I’m not just saying that as the #1 Derrick Henry Fansite on the Internet™. This is completely unbiased. This is simply an opinion based squarely on facts. Mostly the fact that the dude is more Mack Truck than Optimus Prime. And yet people still think he’s only the *checks notes* tenth best player in the league?! Sure. Lemme guess, pink is the 10th best flavor of Starburst. Baseketball is only the 10th best movie about the sport of baseketball. And Brendan Fraser is only the 10th best actor in Hollywood. Yeah, ok.

The whole point of football is to tackle players before they reach the endzone and Derrick Henry is the hardest human to tackle in the entire sport. So tell me again why he shouldn’t be the top player on this list?

However, I will point out that Derrick Henry made the jump from 99th on the list last year into the top 10 which might be the fastest rise to “stardom” since Antoine Dodson told us to hide our kids and wives. That’s pretty dope. But next time he should be #1, because he is the best player – and again, all bias aside – in the history of football. Just ask the Jaguars.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter (which he apparently thought was important enough to share here). He also wears pants everyday.


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