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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Wanna Hate The Titans? That’s Fine. But They’re Responsible For Giving Us The Best NFL Week Ever

Why hello there, Week 5. You’re coming together quite nicely. Check this:

  • Thursday Night game
  • Seven (7) early games on Sunday
  • Four (4) late Sunday games (hello, October witching hour)
  • Sunday Night game
  • Two (2) Monday Night games
  • Tuesday night game

That’s 4 of the next 6 days giving us at least one NFL game. And why is the schedule formatted this way again? *checks notes* Oh, would ya looky there? That’s right! It’s all thanks to the Tennessee Titans.

September is Healthy Aging Month | nJoy Vision

Kinda awkward now, isn’t it? We just went through a week of solid hate and vitriol toward the Titans being wall papered all over the internet. Like they were Darren Rovell or something. And let me tell you, folks, the takes were piping hot. The Take Siren was sounding all week. Mainly looking at you, Doug Farrar.

People were pissed not just for their inability to get healthy, but also because of the reports of them practicing while their facilities were closed. And look, I get it. I understand the frustration. My hand has been cramping from doing the Arthur fist meme all week. I’ve been very frustrated. So I can only imagine how non-Titans fans feel.

But now?

Now thanks to the Tennessee Titans, we’re getting NFL football on Thursday, Sunday, Monday (two games!), TUESDAY (!), and then again on Saturday, Sunday and Monday of NEXT week. Are you kidding me? By the time these next too weeks are over, you’re gonna be Ben Stiller at the end of Dodgeball with how much football you stuff down your gullet.

Fat Ben Stiller GIFs | Tenor

I’m legitimately trying to think of a better week of football in the history of the sport, and nothing is coming to mind. We’re getting NFL MACtion next week.*

* – if it was possible to make this asterisk any bigger, I would’ve. Because obviously, this isn’t just any footnote. The Titans have to go the next FIVE days without a positive COVID test. Now you might be thinking, is there anyone left on their roster who HASN’T tested positive yet? Well, yes. But I get your point. This is a tall ask who hasn’t had anything go right since Week 3 ended. So keep the fingers in your balled up fists crossed. Plus, we all know what happened last time I bragged about the Titans gifting someone a primetime game.

The next two weeks will be a football festival. So when you get your wristbands for Football Coach-ella, Austin City Limitless Football, or Footballapalooza, just remember who the title sponsor of this event is. First name Tennessee, last name Titans.

Wrench arrow.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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