And it’s not this whole, ‘finding water on the moon’ thing!
(which HAS to be true… SPACE.com reported it was. That’s the official website of outer space!)
Yesterday will be forever locked into history as…
Vinny Testaverde’s Birthday
Three cheers for him:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
The man played 21 years in the NFL. I’m sorry, what?!
Don’t think that’s impressive? Let’s look at this at a different angle then.
However, as the years went on Vinny T. begins to mature, as does your son.
In 1992, after your sons 6th birthday, Testaverde improves to 14 touchdowns with only (I say that lightly) 16 interceptions. It is after this year that you and your family decide to move to Cleveland.
Ironically, so does Vinny T. (Small world!)
He signs as an unrestricted free agent in 1992 with the Browns.
In 1998, you move to New York and your son, after turning twelve, makes you the most proud you’ve ever been of him. Vinny T. also makes fans the happiest they have ever been of him. He throws for 29 TDs and only 7 INTs with a 101.6 QB Rating.
The next year, Vinny tears his Achilles tendon and is out for the year. Your son? You send him to boarding school for the year.
Speaking of school, as the years went on you son slowly starts to do worse with his grades. Especially in high school starting in 2002. Of course, it didn’t help that you and your family were moving every few years! He couldn’t get settled.
Same for Vinny. From 2002 to 2007 he played for four different teams.
Since your son’s grades were slipping, he wasn’t able to graduate high school. He stayed in high school a lot longer than he probably should have. Just like Vinny in the NFL. In 2007, when he finally retired, Vinny was the second oldest starting quarterback in NFL history at the age of 44 years old.
Your son also had a record in 2007, at the age of 21 he was the second oldest person to still be in high school. Second only to Billy Madison. But heck, your son was able to make a a lot of friends since he was the only person in the high school who able to legally buy booze.
Aren’t you proud of your son? You raised him to become a 21 year old high school student and mimicked his life after the career of Vinny Testaverde.
Vinny, we here at Korked Bats appreciate you and all you have done for the game of football. You are probably asking: “Korked Bats, what the heck has Vinny T. done for the game of football?”
He has proved that guidos can have successful athletic careers.