Monday, December 4, 2023

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Txt Msg Drama

LOL, wow.

This Laguna Beach episode between Jay Cutler and Josh McDaniels is getting pretty funny.

You all should know by now about the bad blood between Cutler and pretty much everyone involved with the Denver Broncos organization… Especially newly hired head coach, Josh McDaniels. You remember, Davis covered it briefly a few weeks ago. Anyway, McDaniel apparently texted Cutler a few days ago and Cutler never responded.

Are you surprised, Josh?

The man who you have blatantly stated to the media as “our quarterback” won’t respond to a text message you sent him? Things are far from being patched up. You guys are not on texting grounds right now. That’s like telling a girl you want to start seeing other people and then a couple days later TEXTING her and saying, “We r cool, rite?”

You don’t do that. What did you think was going to happen?
(Keep in mind this conversation would be happening through text messaging)

McDaniels: Yo J! Wats up bro? Jst wnted 2 let u no dat ur r guy dis czun! Cant w8!
Cutler: WTF, Josh? U xpect me 2 jus 4get evrything from b4?
McDaniels: IDK, I wuz kinda hopin u wuld. Juss LOL it all off?
Cutler: OMG, u r such a pig! Mandi told me evrything u sed. U wuld trade me if u culd.
McDaniels: I wuz JK. Ur r QB. Dis czun wont b da same w/o u!
Cutler: K. Fine. Wanna get cheez fries @ Diner wit Connie n Chuck?
McDaniels: Sounds gr8! Meet u there?
Cuter: Deal. TTYL!

NO! (Or at least it shouldn’t.)

I feel like I am witnessing 7th grade girls argue back and forth using ESPN and the NFL Network as their platforms. I’m almost as sick about hearing about this dilemma then I am hearing about Obama’s March Madness Bracket!

Just call Cutler. I’m sure he’d like that better!

I know technology is all around us and times are changing, but text messaging is still a lame way to get in contact with someone. A.G. Bell would be PISSED if he knew we had portable cellular phones and we used them to type messages instead of talking. Is it too much to have a short convo over the phone?

Now I am not against text messaging. In fact, I LOVE to text. Who doesn’t? But only in certain instances. People today are relying too much on it. Josh McDaniels, case in point.

Now that he didn’t respond, are you going to try and AOL Instant Message him? Maybe Skype him? Write on his Facebook wall? Constantly check his Twitter feed?

You look stupid when you try and make important contacts through technology.

Prime example:
In 8th grade, my first girlfriend, Sarah Jones, broke up with me through AOL Instant Messenger. How lame…
(Yes, I’m still bitter.)
• • •
Or how about in 9th grade? I had a friend who’s girlfriend broke up with him through an e-mail.

And that’s not the worst part…

He didn’t check his e-mail until 3 days later.

• • •
I wouldn’t doubt that at the rate we are going, in the near future, someone will propose to someone through a text message:
“Will U mar-e me, plz?”

So if you truly want to make things better, then pick up the dang phone and talk to the man, like a man.

I know Cutler is being pretty childish too. I know he is acting pretty spoiled, but when it comes to being the bigger man and making ammends, use the phone, or fly to where he is and do it face to face. Nashville is nice this time of year! (Or so I hear.)

Sack up and make this better or else you may be looking at picking up free agent quarterbacks like an Aaron Brooks, a Charlie Batch, or even a Jon Kitna to salvage your ’09 season. Or you could maybe give Bubby Brister a call, or excuse me, text and see what he is up to? You could ask him if he is busy at all next fall. I’m sure he would come back for one more go around. At least then you could use Cutler’s jersey and just change the name on the back.

So let’s all start to act like adults. Better yet, let’s start to act like our parents acted before all technology was introduced. Anything would be better. Why not write a letter? You know how much that would mean to someone today? A handwritten letter. Jay would want to retire as a Bronco if you did that, Josh. Heck, smoke signals would even probably be better. Morse code. ANYTHING!


If neither of you are going to change, please someone call MTV so we can start recording this and get it on the air. I would much rather watch some drama filled reality show than another rerun of Parental Control.

Anyway, I g2g. I’ll ttyl.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


One thought on “Txt Msg Drama

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.