Tres-passer Rating

On Sunday, during the Houston Texas v. New York Jets game at the New Meadowlands Stadium, someone ran onto the field in between plays.

Apparently, commentator Dan Dierdorf thought he was murdering puppies while doing it.

Greg Gumbel, the game’s play-by-play announces the situation by saying a “nudnick” is running on the field. I wasn’t quite sure what a nudnick was, but since Greg Gumbel used it to describe this guy, I assume a nudnick is a man who trespasses onto the field of a live NFL game. Either that or Gumbel just made it up.

Dierdorf then goes on his dramatic Shakespearean spiel about how it’s been many years since he has a covered a game that was interrupted by a moron running on the field. And how those years were many delightful years.

I’m sorry, but is that really what you base your seasons of commentating off of?

“Well, the season is finally over. Looking back, this has been a terrific year because we didn’t have anyone run onto the field during one of my games. Not like the nudnick from ’94, who ruined my entire season.” -Fake Quote From Dan Dierdorf

Does Dierdorf lose sleep over this?

The 61-year-old then gets on his pedastool to lecture the audience about how stupid this guy is. And how justice will be served when this guy goes to jail.

And then, after he said that, I’m pretty sure he mumbles something like, “And then we need to enforce capital punishment on this buffoon.” If you listen closely, I’m sure you can hear him mumble that.

Meanwhile, on the contrary, Jets head coach, Rex Ryan and numerous Jets players enjoy a laugh from the guy running around.

This just begs the question, how could the Jets be laughing? Don’t they realize, this stupid Nazi idiot just ruined Dan Dierdorf’s year! He was having such delightful years before this happened.

I’m sorry, but this guy try and slit a players throat that we don’t see on camera? Does he run onto the field with a bomb strapped to his body? Heck, does he say bomb on an airplane? Is he punching a baby while running? Is he protesting that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag have a just relationship?


The guy probably got too drunk and decided to run onto the field. Was it right? No. Does he deserve to be arrested? Yes. Do Greg Gumbel and Dan Dierdorf have to take it as seriously as they did? Heck no. When someone runs onto the field, you don’t have to take it into your responsibility to turn the game into your own PSA. We all know that running on the field is moronic. Most of us will probably never do it. However, when someone does (which Dierdorf stated himself happens once every few years), just laugh it off. Take it easy.

I’d be willing to bet Dierdorf applauded the series finale of Seinfeld.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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