Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

This is the Ol’ Ball Coach

If your house was burning down, who would you call? If your cat was stuck in a tree, who would you call? If the world mysteriously had a tornadic, dust monster trying to destroy it, who would it call? When there is something strange in your neighborhood, who would you call?

That’s him. Tim Tebow. You would call him for anything you could ever need in your life… Except for the cat in the tree, because I hate cats, and the sporadic reference to Fantastic Four : Rise of the Silver Surfer.

But who wouldn’t call Tim Tebow if, per say, your Coaches’ Ballot needed to be filled out?

That’s him. Steve Spurrier. You wouldn’t call him unless something was really stinky or you needed a good grade on your final paper.

So what’s wrong with the Ol’ Ball Coach voting for Jevan Snead over Tim Tebow in the Pre-Season All SEC team? I mean even Lex Luther voted for Superman. Carl Winslow voted for Urkel. Cal Hockely voted for Jack Dawson. McCain voted for Obama. Kane voted for The Undertaker. And Manny Ramirez voted for… Well, himself. (Just Manny votin Manny!)

The press has material to convince them that Spurrier pawned his poll off on a colleague. Apparently that colleague hasn’t turned on a game of college football, hasn’t watched an hour of Sportscenter, hasn’t opened a newspaper, or hasn’t even been alive. Not to discount Jevan Snead, but honestly? Just because Robin got to ride the motorcycle doesn’t mean he got the vote over Batman. I mean Batman wins that vote strictly based on the costume director putting nipples in his suit. Steve was obviously in the wrong (although I support his neglect), giving his colleague the poll (if that is actually what he did.)

According to the news as of 12:57 AM, Steve Spurrier calls the vote an ‘Oversight.’ That doesn’t even sound good.

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