Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Things That Cost More Than A Ticket To The Vandy-UConn Game This Weekend

Every now and then, college football blesses us with a game of the century. This game is not that.

This Saturday we’ll be hit over the top of the head by a two-by-four that is this Vandy-UConn game. Two of the worst football programs in the country doing battle (if that’s what they call it) on the gridiron to find out who’s not the worst. Do we have to? Unfortunately, yes. I already checked.

So for a game as bad – and unwanted – as this one, the ticket prices are pretty cheap. And by pretty cheap, I mean possibly the cheapest since people wore three-piece suits to games and call their girlfriends their “gals.”


That’s all you need to get into this game. A lone Washington. Four quarters for four quarters. You could still argue that those prices are pretty steep. but it’s just amazing that you can buy tickets to an SEC (note: I use that term pretty lightly) game at a Dollar Tree.

A tin of Altoids – $1.78

It costs more to have a good breath than to watch the Commodores and Huskies.

A gallon of gas – $3.94 (national average)

It will cost you more to go to the game than get into the game.

A cheeseburger Happy Meal – $2.79

At least that comes with a toy.

A fidget spinner – $4

If you really want something that used to be popular that isn’t anymore, get one of these. At least it will keep you entertained.

A song on Apple Music – $1.29

The song will have a good beat, the game just has two teams who are used to getting beat.

Change your entire address – $1.00 + tax

If you’re a Vandy or UConn fan and want to move out of sheer embarrassment, you can change your address through the US Postal Service for the cost of a ticket.

Literally anything else

People complain that you can’t get much for a dollar these days. And, well, they’re right, because Vandy-UConn will not be much at all.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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