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Sunday, December 1, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

The White Stuff

As many of you have heard by now, Sammy Sosa is this generation’s Michael Jackson. He was seen on November 4th in Las Vegas.

First of all, I thought what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?! What a buncha croc. Sorry, Sammy.

Secondly, it’s just a “skin rejuvenation” process. Of course! This “skin rejuvenation” must be like hair coloring product and Sammy just mistakenly bought the wrong color for his skin type. He bought “The Wayans Brothers in White Chicks Skin Rejuvenation” when he was probably looking for “That Guy From Blood Diamond Skin Rejuvenation“. Honest mistake.

Sosa claims to be taking it to help rejuvenate his skin for the number of years he spent out in the sun playing baseball.

Sammy has apparently started something in the world of sports. If you haven’t noticed, tons of famous black athletes are trying out this skin rejuvenation process. They want to see what it’s like to be white… Or as they call it, unathletic.

Below are a few before and after pictures of famous black athletes who are seeing side effects from rejuvenating their skin.

Usain Bolt

Before Skin Rejuvenation:


After Skin Rejuvenation:

Michael Jordan

Before Skin Rejuvenation:


After Skin Rejuvenation:

Barry Bonds

Before Skin Rejuvenation:


After Skin Rejuvenation:

Ben Wallace

Before Skin Rejuvenation:


After Skin Rejuvenation:

Special thanks to Keith Montgomery for the images.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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