Saturday, July 20, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

The Top 10 Minor League Affiliates

I would like to first off apologize to the readers of Korked Bats. How I never noticed the greatness of different minor league team names is pathetic. I have done a disservice to this blog and this uniform (we don’t actually have uniforms, but it just fit with the speech.) (But now that I am thinking about it, we should really get uniforms). I am now here to redeem myself.

So now, without further adieu, I introduce Korked Bats’ Top Ten Most Ridiculous Minor League Affiliate Team Names (Jeeze, what a long name.)

10. Idaho Falls Chukars

I am not really sure what a Chuka is. From the look of the logo it is either a mountain, bird, or a combination of both. Either way, a brilliant mascot.
9. Greensboro Grasshoppers
The Grasshoppers check in at number nine. I do appreciate some good alliteration, but there has got to be a better mascot idea that starts with a g. For example: gators, ghosts, ghouls, guns, gatos, gate men, etc. Okay, maybe not the Greensboro Guns.
8. Brevard County Manatees
This is where the countdown gets hard. Since a Manatee is a real animal I give Brevard County some credit, but this has to be the least intimidating mascot ever. Also, what kid wants to go get his picture taken with a person in a big manatee costume.
7. Modesto Nuts

It looks like they are the walnuts and the almonds. Rumor is that they will be calling the cashews any minute. Also, you can insert your own testicle joke here.
6. Lansing Lugnuts

This one is just hilarious to me. Look how sad the lugnut is to be the team mascot. Who draws a team logo that looks sad? Get everybody in the mood for some disappointment I guess. Anyways, this one barley edges out the other nut due to the single hillbilly tooth.
5. Everett Aquasox

No, not that kind of Aqua Sox. These kind of Aquasox:

I am not sure what exactly an aquasock is? According to the logo it is a frog trained to wear hats and lick baseballs. Adding aquasocks to Christmas list as we speak.
4. Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs

I feel this one is pretty obvious. Lehigh Valley is thinking ahead to when robotic future pigs proceed to take over the Earth. Pretty aggressive marketing toward the future. We will see if this one pays off.
3. Savannah Sand Gnats

Savannah meeting to decide team name…
“What is something that people in Savannah can identify with?”
“We have lots of gnats, sand, aaand….?”
“Stop right there. I think we are going to be filthy rich.”
2. Cedar Rapids Kernels

“What can we name our minor league baseball team in Iowa. (Looking around for clues…) I can only come up with one idea.”
1. Montgomery Biscuits

This one speaks for itself… and these people agree.
Honorable mention:
Albuquerque Isotopes, Auburn Doubledays, Fort Wayne Tin Caps, West Tennessee Diamond Jaxx, and Williamsport Crosscutters. Sorry boys, just a little too relevant to make the countdown.

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