Thursday, June 13, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

The Titans Schedule Is Perfect, No Notes (But Here Are Some Notes, Anyway)

This is the perfect waiting in the weeds schedule. The Titans go into this season with little to no expectation whatsoever, and frankly, I love it. If they turn out to be good (a la the Texans last year), they will turn a lot of heads and impress people. Especially considering how young they are at every position outside of wide receiver (sorry, but it’s true).

But if the Titans end up sucking, as everyone outside of Tennessee expects, they’re not going to get clowned nationally. So the Titans are in the perfect spot, IMO. And their schedule is the perfect lineup for that spot. Here are some notes:

  • Titans get the Bears and Caleb Williams freshly manicured in Week 1, which has to be the absolute best time to get a rookie quarterback, right? All eyes will be on him, and while it’s entirely possible he balls out and pulls a Mariota in his debut, history has shown that rookie quarterbacks tend to pull Jameis Winston’s in their debuts. Could he be the difference? Certainly. The Bears are more loaded than the walls of an Applebee’s. But the amount of pressure both nationally, and locally (trust me, I live here), will be immeasurable. The Bears don’t just want Caleb to be great. They NEED him to be great. They’ve waited far too long and they’ve become – understandably – impatient. They haven’t had a 4,000 yard passer in the history of their franchise. It’s 2024. On top of that, there isn’t a single person on earth not wearing two-toned blue (or maybe Peter Schraeger) who will think the Titans can win this game. Every person with a pulse will pick the Bears. And lastly, we get the Bears in Summertime Chi. As a Nashville native (who absolutely loves my hometown) and a guy who has lived all over the country, I have to admit that in the summer months, there is no city in America greater than Chicago. Granted that summer lasts shorter than a Jaguars run of being good. But when that summer is here, it’s the best three weeks of the year! The only thing that sucks about this game is how hard tickets will be to find because it’s Caleb Williams’ NFL debut.
  • Consistency… This schedule is a coach’s fantasy. Every game except for two are Sunday at noon. While this is super boring and monotonous for fans, it’s a wet dream for coaches. They preach consistency and routine. In their opinion, that’s how you build good habits. Plus, this schedule allows us all the ability to pray for the Titans at church just before the game. Please God, don’t test me with another tough battle like 2023.
  • The Titans play ZERO teams coming off a BYE week. Granted, the Titans BYE week comes in Week 5, which sucks. Titans BYE weeks are like Christmas decorations sold in stores. Feels like they appear earlier and earlier every year. However, it is nice to know none of your opponents will have extra rest or time to prep coming into the game against you.
  • The Titans play ZERO Thursday Night Football games. This feels weird. Especially for a franchise that used to be the house band for TNF. Hell, is America even going to know what they’re watching without a Titans-Jags matchup every week? I doubt it. Expect ratings to plummet without those puke yellow and Columbia blue color rush jumpsuits clashing on your screen while you have the game on in the background because nothing else is on.
  • The Titans have ZERO short weeks. In today’s game, this is the craziest fact about the schedule to me. If there’s one thing Roger Goodell loves, it’s not giving his employees adequate rest in between getting their brains bashed in for three hours. Take the Ravens for example. There is a stretch this season where they will play 3 games in a 10-day span. That’s absurd. Meanwhile, the Titans won’t play a game on anything less than 6 days rest all year. And for a franchise that has produced more injured bodies than the set of an Expendables movie, that’s a welcomed change.
  • It all comes down to the end. Granted, it’s not like the Steelers or Bears schedules who play division games in something like 6 of their final 8 weeks, but it’s still back heavy with division opponents. Teams will be banged up. Anthony Richardson could be out by the year by then. C.J. Stroud could be C.J. StrOUT. Trevor Lawrence could still be limping up the Jaguars’ stadium tunnel. And sure, this goes both ways. Especially for a franchise that has led the league in injuries over 2 of the last 3 years. But, personally, I’d rather my division opponents be banged up than play them healthy at the beginning of the year.

So look… is this the schedule that shockingly propels the Titans to the Super Bowl? PEOPLE ARE ASKING.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.