The Texas Rangers’ New Stadium Is Getting Roasted Online And Here Are The Best Jokes
The Texas Rangers are unveiling a new stadium this year – perfect timing, right?! Apparently, the inside of this place is actually pretty insane. In fact, last time we talked to Rangers pitcher Kyle Gibson, he told us about it (video starts at 7:54 mark).
Unfortunately, the outside was not so lucky. People will tell you it’s on the inside that counts. But not on the internet! So of course the park got dragged online. And rightfully so, because the Rangers just moved out of one of baseball’s most beautiful stadiums…

…(which only opened in 1994!) into one of of baseball’s most industrial (and ugly) looking stadiums…
This is the stadium equivalent of ScarJo divorcing Ryan Reynolds and then dating Sean Penn. It looks much older, grosser, and it’s probably full of disease. Not just COVID, but E-coli – because that’s a cow slaughter if I’ve ever seen one. I’ve seen smoother edges on Minecraft.
Since the stadium got torched, let’s run down some of the best jokes about Globe Life Field.
— past my prime (@five6four) June 24, 2020