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Friday, March 29, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

The Texans Are A Crusty Butt

Went into the season assuming the Texans were going to be butt this year, but as it turns out – 4 games into the year – the Texans are actually a crusty butt. Which, in case you were wondering, is worse.

Through four games, they’ve won chin dimple amount of games.

The Texans lost to the previously winless Minnesota Vikings (yes, the team quarterbacked by Kirk Cousins) and now they’re chin dimple and 4 for the first time since 2008. It sucks for them, too, because they have a top 7 quarterback in the league with Deshaun Watson, and this year’s pretty much going to waste because their head coach/GM is completely incompetent. How do I know? Because after Sunday’s game he said this:

”We’ve just got to keep working,” he said. ”There’s really no way out of it other than that. You have no choice.”

via Yahoo! Sports

And after the exact same game, his superstar defensive end and co-host of ULTIMATE TAG on Fox, J.J. Watt, said:

“We obviously have to do something different, we’re 0-4, whatever we’re doing isn’t working,” the three-time Defensive Player of the Year said. “Something needs to change, something needs to be different.”

via NFL.com

I’m not exactly sure. Can someone remind me? Is it a good thing or a bad thing for your head coach/GM to have the complete opposite message as your team’s best player after a backbreaking loss? Right now, the head coach/GM is saying they just need to keep working, and their giant tire-lifting defensive end says what they’re doing isn’t working.

And anyone who’s watched a Texans game this year, would probably side with Justin James on this one. It’s no wonder why his nose is always bleeding. He has to put up with that imbecile head coach.

Think about that for a second. The doofus who couldn’t hold a 24-point lead in the playoffs was then given MORE responsibility in the offseason. Part of me doesn’t even feel bad. This one is on you, Texans. What did you expect? “Well, this guy isn’t good at coaching, but maybe he’ll be good at both coaching AND general managing.”

I’m pretty sure Deandre Hopking playing in Arizona this season should give you your answer.

The Texans are in 5th place in a 4-team division behind both the Jaguars and COVID-19. And there’s no sign of this ocean liner turning around before it sinks to the bottom of the NFL ocean.

Also, you know what else is a crusty butt? The black hole that is Bill O’Brien’s chin dimple.

Just be grateful you share a state with the Cowboys, I guess.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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