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Friday, March 29, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

The Ridiculous Bio Photos Of A College Soccer Player

There’s only one thing that could get you interested in Vassar College soccer, and Extra Mustard found it.

Evan Seltzer’s bio photos.

Seltzer is a senior defender for Vassar and has gotten progressively more ridiculous with his bio photos each year.

2010:

Seltzer 2010

This picture leads me to believe Seltzer is a red dot on a Google map.

2011:

Seltzer 2011

This picture reassures me Seltzer is a red dot on a Google Map, and became one thanks to Dateline NBC.

2012:

Seltzer 2012

I love Seltzer when he played in Blink 182.

2013:

Seltzer 2013

Wait a minute? Is this LeBron?

And if that’s not ridiculous enough, here is a .GIF mashing them all together.

Evan-Seltzer

But let’s not get caught up in Seltzer’s ridiculous hair. He wants to be taken seriously. He wants to be your next political leader.

Well played, Seltzer. Well played.

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

And also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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