Tuesday, July 23, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

The Pac-12’s Awkward Music Video

This summer, the Pac-10 Conference will be adding the University of Colorado Buffaloes and the University of Utah Utes this July. So obviously the often-overlooked conference needed to change their name and their logo. After hours of being in the boardroom, they finally thought up the name: Pac-12. Who knows where this sudden burst of creativity came from? Probably the same place that this introductory music video did. In the words of your nearly 50-year-old father who is trying to stay ‘hip’, “This video is DA BOMB!”

…and you thought Rebecca Black made crappy music videos.

First, did the Pac-10/12 not get Jay-Z’s memo about how auto-tune is dead? He specifically wrote a song about it to inform everyone else in the hip-hop game. This rule applies for everyone who makes music not named Cher. Since, well, she started the whole fad when she asked if we believed in life after love.

Second, the video begins with and is titled, “The Countdown Is Over.” Who exactly is counting down to the unveiling of the Pac-12’s new logo?

Third, around the :18 second mark, there is a goofy looking swimmer. Flailing his arms around like wacky waving inflatable flailing arm tube man. This swimmer has a USC Trojans swim cap on. Really, Pac-12-ish? Of all the amazing sports that USC has to offer (football, baseball, & heck, even basketball), you chose swimming?!

“Let’s see here, we need a sport to represent USC. What can we use? Johnson, check with the field hockey team. See if they’ll be in our video.”

“They can’t sir, they’re at a tournament in New Hampshire this weekend.”

“Well, that’s just great. What other sport are we going to use to help encompass the prestigious athletic program that the University of Southern California has to offer?!”

“We could get Steven Spielberg. He went to USC’s great film school.”

“C’mon Johnson. This is a video for the Pac-12’s sports! We need sports! Other than field hockey, what else does that school have to offer athletically?”

“How about swimming?”

“Yeah. That might just work. Let’s get the skinniest, palest, goofiest looking swimmer. That way people will be distracted and not even think twice about USC’s sports representative not wearing safety goggles and a skirt carrying a weird stick.”

Finally, this video just goes to prove that Washington State doesn’t have an athletics program. Their representative is an adult version of Manny from Modern Family wearing a Wazzu Cougars hat. So if you have wondered why Washington State has been relevant in society (with the exception of flying a flag at every ESPN College Gameday location), it’s because chubby Mark Cuban is the best representative for their athletic program that the Pac-12 could find.

You would think the Pac-10+2 would have learned that making a cheesy music video to promote something isn’t a good idea from Notre Dame.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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