The List of 104 (81 to 90)

August 13, 2009 Austin

As the only media outlet in the world who has rightfully obtained the beloved list of Major League Baseball players who have tested positive for steroids, we will continue, as promised, to give our faithful readers ten names that are on the list at a time.

We obviously all know the first four and we had previously leaked the first ten names, so here we are now to give you the next ten. Brace yourselves, baseball fans. Some names on this list may be shocking to your fan hood.

Previous Names Released:
The List – 91 to 104

The List of 104: 81 to 90

90. Paul Molitor
Anyone who questions this man ever taking steroids, let the numbers do the talking. Molitor averaged over 11 home runs a season for his career. What a cheater…

89. Chien Ming Wang
There is no way this guy got a name that funny with out a little juice. Of course now, after taking steroids, he may need to change his name to Chien Ming Little Wang.

88. Ed
Unfortunately, for Ed, he was one of few players that actually saw side effects to taking steroids. This can be a good testimony to kids to not take them. If you do, you may end up in a movie along side Matt LeBlanc. This just shows, not only do steroids kill your body, but also your acting career.

87. Bam Bam
The kid is stronger than Optimus Prime and he still wears diapers… Or leopard skin… whatever the equivalent of whatever cavemen babies wear. Not to mention his bat has got to be over 50 oz.!

86. Alejandro “Butch” Heddo
We all remember Butch from his famous at bat against young Chicago Cubs pitcher Henry Rowengartner. He is big, hairy, and spits a lot. All of the features of… someone who is on steroids… AND John Kruk.

85. John Kruk
We all remember John from his famous at bat against a then young Seattle Mariners pitcher Randy Johnson. He is big, hairy, and spits a lot (of facts on Baseball Tonight every night at 10 PM ET) All of the features of… someone who is on steroids… AND a truck driver.

84. Craig Biggio
Craig claims that he only took illegal substances to make his muscles BIG(-GIO). (Rim shot)

83. Paul O’Neill
Paul didn’t become ranked 147 all-time on the career home runs list without a little help, if ya know what I mean. Paul O’Neill? More like Paul O’Verthecountersteroids!

82. Mr. Met
There is no denying that Mr. Met juices… Have you seen this guy’s head size?!

81. Eddie Gaedel
It’s sad to see that that Eddie Gaedel (the shortest player in MLB history) took ‘roids. But this just further proves that steroids cause men to shrink…