The Guy Who Spent 15 Hours In A Waffle House Is A Reminder That Grit Still Has To Pay Up On Our Bet
Whenever anything that has to do with Waffle House goes viral, I get no less than 30-40 texts, DM’s, Facebook messages, letters in the mail, and smoke signals about whatever it is. I’m not complaining. I actually love it. Unless it’s the most recent story that’s making the rounds.
First off, this dude didn’t spend 24 hours in a Waffle House. His fantasy league let each waffle eaten shave an entire hour off his time. He ate 9, thus meaning he only spent 15 hours in a Waffle House. That’s not impressive. That’s what I call a Saturday. How is 15 hours anywhere a punishment, let alone 15 in a damn Waffle House?
Second, this whole story pisses me off. Not because he’s living out my dream as “punishment,” but because it reminded me of a bet I had with Grit.
Remember Grit?
Everyone’s favorite foul-mouthed, big-bearded, and super cuddly dude. Well, don’t let his bristled outer shell distract you from the fact that he still has to pay up for a bet that he lost.
…last October.
For the National League Championship Series. Feels like years ago, right? That’s because it was. It was six years ago, and Grit has YET to pay up on our bet.
So the punishment drawn was 24 hours in a Waffle House. Which I was going to gladly serve if the Dodgers lost. Many of you would probably say that’s not a punishment for me, but I would disagree. I’ll explain a little bit later. But since Grit is the proud father of two beautiful little kids, we agreed he wouldn’t be able to get away for 24 hours anywhere, so we agreed to draw another punishment for him. We drew: film yourself dancing a cringey TikTok dance, but you have to do so seriously with a straight face. Grit, on his own accord, upped the ante to match the original punishment, and said he would film his cringey TikTok inside a Waffle House to make the punishment even more brutal.
If you listen to The Junk Drawer (subscribe, rate and review), then you’ve heard this saga play out. We thought we would get the GritTok by Christmas. We did not. We then thought we would get it by pitchers and catcher’s reporting. We did not. We then thought we would get it by Opening Day. Guess what? We did not. At least, we may still be lucky enough to get it by the All-Star Break, I guess. Hell, the college baseball regular season started and ended and now his favorite team is about to play in the College World Series – all before we’ve gotten the GritTok.
Grit says he’s a man of his word, which I don’t doubt. But his word must be spoken with a really deep-southern accent that’s drawn out reeeeeeeal loooooooong.
Also, side note on that Waffle House fantasy football loser: Giving yourself the bailout of shaving off time, in my opinion, makes this “punishment” so much less difficult. Eating a single waffle shaves off an entire hour? Are you kidding? 15 hours isn’t difficult. Waffle House provides some of the best people-watching in the country. It’s got some of the most delicious food. And the waiters, waitresses, and cook staff are some of the most interesting people on the planet. I’ve had an hour-and-a-half-long conversation with multiple waiters and waitresses during the slow hours of a House. So where’s the punishment? 15 hours is just a long day at work. You could knock that out and still get a full night’s rest. 24 hours is where the true punishment lies. Because being ANYWHERE for 24 hours straight is where it gets hard, because you can’t sleep – which is exactly the punishment I would’ve had to serve if Mookie Betts wasn’t amazing at baseball and almost single-handledly took down the Braves. We agreed that the waffle rule to shave downtime was too much of a cheap cop-out. For it to be a punishment you should have to endure the full day. So let’s not refer to this fantasy football loser as a Waffle House warrior. Dude is a Waffle House wimp.
Sorry. Just had to get that off my chest. And to Grit… we’re still waiting.
P.S. — Don’t think you’re off the hook, A.D. He still owes us a punishment of watching ‘To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before‘ on Netflix and either writing or filming a movie review. And guess what, he’s yet to pay up either. It’s so cool how the people associated with this blog never pay up on the punishments they get hit with.
P.P.S. — #FREEKORKEDBATS
