Wednesday, July 17, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

‘The Derrick Henry Song’ Slaps So Damn Hard

There are few songs in this world where every time you hear it, you’re just like, “Damn. That’s a great song.” You know, songs like Sisqo’s “Thong Song,” Hinder’s “Lips Of An Angel,” Nickelback’s “How You Remind Me,” and of course, “The Derrick Henry Song.” It’s inarguably the greatest song ever conceived. Sorry, Beethoven. But that deaf guy’s music couldn’t hold a candle to this. This jam makes Mozart sound like a MoFART.

You need a song that slaps to play at your tailgate leading up to Bengals-Titans this weekend? Bam. The Derrick Henry Song.

You need a song to walk down the aisle to at your wedding? Bam. The Derrick Henry Song.

You need a song to play while consumating that marriage? BAM! THE DERRICK HENRY SONG.

This song is bound to become Billboard’s #1 song on every chart: pop, hip-hop, country. Doesn’t matter. (Unless of course Billboard is anything like the NFL’s MVP voters, in which case it will somehow fall behind The Aaron Rodgers Song and/or The Josh Allen Song even though those songs have yet to set NFL records at their respective positions). It’s the only song in the history of sound that slaps. As in if you try and tackle it, it will slap you right in the face. Just ask Josh Norman.

So enjoy this banger. And good luck trying to get it out of your head the rest of the day.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.