Saturday, April 13, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

The Definition of Thug

For those of you who have never heard Trick Daddy explain why he is a thug, this post will help give you a better understanding of what a “thug” is. And no, I don’t mean a member of the Indian Cult Thuggee. I mean this kind of thug.

Before we begin, we should find ourselves an example. Someone who can demonstrate the art of being a thug. Not like, “Justin Bobby from The Hills” thug. More like “Those Two Guys That Tom Cruise Caps In Collateral” thugs.

Hmmmm… Who can we choose?

Oh, I know. How about LeGarrette Blount?

The only problem is he doesn’t look like a thug.

Oh no wait… Yes, he does.
(Only difference is Blount punches the opposing team’s players, not strippers.)

Ok, let’s move beyond his looks. How about his name?

His name is LeGarrette Blount. It’s like Garrett, only with a ‘Le’ in front. Which is actually quite significant.

If you want to find out your thug name, take your name now (i.e. Dave, John, Dan) and put ‘Le’ in front of it. (i.e. LeDave, LeJohn, LeDan) Instant thug status.

However, his first name isn’t the only thing that makes him thuggish. His last name puts the icing on the cake.

His last name is Blount.


It’s pronounced Blunt.

The only name more thuggish than that is Thuggy McThugerson.

Of course, with a name like Blount, don’t you think he would have been more chill following the game last Thursday night?

Or maybe his excuse is that he just had the munchies.

That’s why he almost went into the stands toward those fans.

“Gimme those nachos! I’ma eat yo nachos!”

Obviously, Blount’s college career is over. Some are saying that he knocked out his chances for the NFL too (pun intended). But don’t hang your head LeGarrette. There is always The Ultimate Fighter!

Heck, Kimbo Slice is now on The Ultimate Fighter and he got his start with YouTube videos of him fighting big white guys. And now you have a fighting big white guys YouTube video of your own:

Not to mention, LeGarrette Blount had more yards rushing before the season started than he did after the Boise State game:

8 carries for -5 yards rushing


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


One thought on “The Definition of Thug

  • Avatar
    September 7, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    haha, well said.

    I vote, put he and pacman in a room with a 2×4 and only let one of their careers continue.


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