With Valentine’s Day being today, Corked Bats decided to get in on the act.
However, instead of dressing up in our Express sweater vest and black and maroon striped button down shirt to take out our girlfriend of 7 1/2 months to Olive Garden, with hopes that she doesn’t order the Steak Toscano because with that and the Sicilian Scampi that you got for an appetizer is going to put your bill well over $40 dollars. We try and shrug it off thinking Valentine’s Day comes but once a year, but still over $40 bucks for dinner?! Not to mention the roses and gifts that we got for the girl. Then we head back to her place and flip on the TV. We “watch” a couple reruns of The Cosby Show on WGN for back ground noise while we begin to kiss. Unfortunately, the make out session ends after about 6 minutes when her roommate comes home drunk and crying. I then realize that it would be best to leave. I kiss my girl goodnight and drive home. And once again, we’re spending Valentine’s Day on my sofa watching Parental Control on MTV which continuously gets interrupted by Extenze Commercials. All we want to do is fall asleep and put the night behind us, but we can’t sleep because of the crap on TV…
But instead of that, Corked Bats decided to get in on the act of V-Day by giving to you, our readers, the best couples in sports in a post we like to call:
The Best Couples in Sports!
Here are the top 14 couples for February 14th.
14. Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren
You know the ole saying, “Drive for show, marry for dough.” That’s exactly what Elin did. The couple already has one kid and are rumored to want to have “FORE!”
13. Tony Parker and Eva Longoria
Three weeks after winning his third NBA Championship and being named Finals MVP, Tony Parker celebrated by marrying Eva Longoria. I guess you could call her a true “trophy wife”… (Insert rim shot here)
12. Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding
Where would the sport of Olympic figure skating be without these two? The drama Tonya Harding brought to the sport when she hired someone to go Bobby Brown on her knee.
11. Enrique Iglesias and Anna Kornikova
Even though Anna Kornikova never won a tennis match in ANY tournament, Enrique didn’t Turn Off The Light on her. Instead Mrs. Kornikova decided to Escape with her Hero.
10. Nomar Garciaparra and Mia Hamm
By far, these two are the most athletic couple on our list. I mean, Mia Hamm is the only person that I know of who has taken down Michael Jordan in a karate fight!
9. Will Ferrell and Jon Heder
We are only on #9 and we have already had two figure skating couples. These two produced some good laughs in their film, Blades of Glory. But was it just me or throughout the whole movie were you distracted by the fact that Will Ferrell’s co-star was Napoleon Dynamite?
8. Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson
We just hope Tony Romo scores more with Jessica Simpson then he does with his offense in the playoffs.
7. Elaine and Keith Hernandez
One of the funniest Seinfeld episodes next to the Parking Garage episode. And how bout Keith Hernandez’s ‘stache?
6. Alex Rodriguez and Madonna
Thank goodness for these two. It was the only other non-Brett Favre drama news that we had all summer. Jeeze, if it’s not A-Rod getting caught with women, he’s getting caught with ‘roids. Maybe Madonna was his supplier?
5. Squints and Wendy Peffercorn
How could these two love birds NOT make the list? I mean, Squints was planning their first kiss for years! Then they ended up having 10 kids together! Although, Tommy and Timmy Timmons were highly considered for our list, because they did invent the Mini-Mall!
4. Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian
By far, the best looking couple on our list. I would date either of them. (No homo.)
3. Tom Brady and Giselle
These two could be the best looking couple on our list if Tom Brady didn’t always look like he just woke up.
2. Gordon Bombay and The Iceland Chick
“Eating ice cream with the enemy, huh coach?”
Charlie Conway’s mom? Check. Team USA Tutor? Check. It doesn’t matter who Bombay is with… he is making our list! What a pimp!
1. Happy Gilmore and Bob Barker
This relationship was more of a love-hate relationship. But I’m sure Bob Barker got a lot of that on “Let’s Make a Deal”.
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There it is, our list of the best couples in sports. If you feel like we missed any or feel that a couple should be higher/lower on the list, then let us know! Leave us a comment below with your thoughts.
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY
FROM CORKED BATS!