Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

That’s So ‘Dre-ven

There have been a lot of horrible photo shoots in history. No, seriously. Just ask:

David Hasselhoff

Kobe Bryant

This Girl

David Hasselhoff Again

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus And Her Dad

Tim Tebow


David Hasselhoff For A Third Time

Well, this just in, we can add another person to this list, a person by the name of Andre Ethier. Yes, THAT Andre Ethier, the Los Angeles Dodgers right fielder.

Andre, or Dre as he is known around the clubhouse, has been having a career year. Through 99 games this season, he is batting .302 with 18 home runs and 68 RBIs.

So apparently Andre felt that it’d be necessary to celebrate this great season with a ridiculous photo shoot with LA Times Magazine. Maybe he was just envious of fellow Los Angeles athlete Kobe Bryant and his “how does anyone continue to have respect for him after these photos were released” photo shoot.

So enough with all this jabber jabber, let’s get on to these hilarious photos and make fun of good ole number 16.

Picture #1

Forget the Rat Pack, Andre has his own club called the Bat Pack.

“Andre coulda’ been a contenda’.” …for the triple crown had he never landed on the DL earlier this summer.

Andre looks good in those pinstripes… This will probably give the Yankees a bad idea.

Picture #2

This picture is pretty normal. Probably the most normal of the whole photo shoot. Well, except for the fact that his suede pants cost $2,349. I’m sorry… What?!

I literally don’t have any more jokes for this picture because it’s somewhat normal.

Picture #3

Is this Andre Ethier or Willy Wonka?

This is the last image many of Andre’s victims see before he stabs them to death with his cane.

Talk about expensive pants, this leather trench coat costs $5,115.

Picture #4

Well, if the whole baseball career doesn’t work out, at least Andre will always have a career on the cast of Mad Men.

Hey Andre, Michael Bublé called, he wants his wardrobe back.

Here’s a little known fact, Andre’s sport coat is actually made out of Magic Eye.

Picture #5

A lot of you thought that it was Dean Cain in the hit 90s TV show, Louis and Clark. Actually, it was Andre Ethier.

I’m not going to say that Andre Ethier looks gay in this picture, but he does live in West Hollywood.

Talking about prices, that watch he is wearing costs $11,300.

Hey Andre, Robin Williams called, he wants his hairy arms back.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


One thought on “That’s So ‘Dre-ven

  • Avatar
    August 18, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    My head hurts because there were only two “____ called, he wants his ____ back” jokes.

    Rule of threes, man! Rule of threes!


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