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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Texas A&M’s New Football Facilities Are Breathtaking [VIDEO]

Texas A&M recently opened up their brand new football facilities, and they are, in a word, GEWWWWWW!

A few thoughts:

  • You’re probably going to have to consult a physician 4 hours after watching this video.
  • This entire facility was funded by the money Johnny Manziel made from autographs last season.
  • Was hoping this video would at least explain what “Gig ‘Em” means.
  • Xzibit be like, “We heard you like TV’s, so we put TV’s inside your TV’s. Also, a barber shop in the locker room.”
  • The only thing this locker room is missing is three precogs who can see into the future and prevent crimes.
  • The dining hall at Texas A&M’s new facility only serves Dippin’ Dots. It’s the dining hall of the future.
  • A&M’s new facilities even include 2 janitorial closets, a larger one for janitorial supplies, mops, & brooms, and a smaller one to serve as their basketball team’s meeting room.
  • This whole video is just gorilla marketing for Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups… Watch the video again if you don’t know what I mean.
  • The only thing this building doesn’t feature is a National Championship trophy case.
  • Kansas and Iowa State are telling all their friends, “We used to play with them in the Big 12. I swear! Texas A&M probably knows me!”
  • Hopefully, some of those touch-screen video boards can help Kevin Sumlin learn his players’ names.
  • This is why college football players never go to class.
  • Still don’t know what “Gig ‘Em” means.
  • The stars at night… Are still not as good as the 4 & 5 stars A&M will now be bringing in.
  • Now, when people ask if you play fantasy football, they’ll really be asking if you play football at Texas A&M.
  • Meanwhile, at Texas

• • •

This post was created by Austin. You can follow him and his jokes on Twitter: @TheAHuff

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @KorkedBats

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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