Sports Suck, Up Until They Don’t

Well, that was the longest 32 years of my life.

It’s pretty rare I get personal on this ridiculous blog, but I’m sitting here on my couch, it’s 2:30 in the morning, and I’m watching the FS1 World Series postgame show for the third time tonight, sipping some Johnnie Walker Black Label, and trying to put my thoughts down into a blog. Now, I’m not trying to get all sentimental like some sort of mommy blogger, but there are just so many things going through my mind right now. For only the second time in my life, and first since diapers and sippy cups, one of my favorite sports teams won a championship.

This rules.

We all have our favorite sports teams, and we all have our favorite of our favorite sports teams. The Los Angeles Dodgers are that for me. I watch every game (or every game my wife will let me – thanks, MLB.tv). It’s one of two sports allegiances I’ve had since birth. If you’re curious as to where my allegiances lie, just blindfold yourself and throw some darts at a map. They’re that random.

Dodgers, Titans, Predators, Pacers, Mizzou Tigers, Penn State Nittany Lions.

When you favorite sports allegiances spread all over the map like that, people assume two things. 1. your dad was in the military, or 2. you’re a massive bandwagon fan. But then they quickly rule out number 2 after hearing my favorite teams. I’m not LeBron.

“Why would you like those teams?”

Growing up in Nashville, obviously I love my Titans and Predators. My family used to go to the Indianapolis 500 annually during the Reggie Miller/Rik Smits/Jalen Rose era, so I adopted the Indiana Pacers as my favorite NBA team. I went to the University of Missouri, so obviously go Tigers, but I have extended family in Pennsylvania, so I grew up a Penn State fan. And I was born in Los Angeles, so my favorite baseball team is, always has been, and always will be the Los Angeles Dodgers. كيف تربح المال من الانترنت مجاناً

So again, I’m not LeBron. My allegiances are spread across the country, but not for bandwagons sake. If anything, I picked some of the most cursed teams in the country. I can count on one hand the number of times my favorite teams have played for a championship, and I can count on one finger (or now two, I guess) how many times they’ve won.

1988 – Los Angeles Dodgers play the Oakland A’s in the World Series… win. (Not to brag.)

1994 – Penn State Nittany Lions go undefeated, beat Oregon in the Rose Bowl, but this was pre-BCS era… so the poll voters vote them #2 and awarded the national title to Nebraska.

1994 – This isn’t championship related, but still kinda fits with this list of sad stories: While on vacation in Southern California, I had tickets to a Dodgers game but couldn’t go. Why? Because the MLB strike started two days prior.

2000 – Tennessee Titans play the Rams in Super Bowl XXXIV… lose, by one lousy yard. Don’t believe me? Just watch the end of Cast Away.

2000 – Indiana Pacers play the Lakers in the NBA Finals… and when I say the Lakers, I mean Kobe and Shaq in their prime. Awesome. They obviously lose in 6 games. بوكر حقيقي على النت

2000 & 2001 – The Nashville Kats (Arena League) make it to back-to-back Arena Bowls… (Do we count these? I’d be willing to bet Andy Kelly and Corey Fleming vote yes.) But even still, the Kats lost both.

2007 – Missouri Tigers ranked #1 going into the Big 12 Championship, 1 win from the BCS National Championship… lose to Oklahoma.

2013 – Missouri Tigers ranked #5 going into the SEC Championship and with the way the day’s games played out if Mizzou won, they would’ve played for the BCS National Championship… lose to Auburn.

2017 – Nashville Predators win the Western Conference and advance to the Stanley Cup Final against the Pittsburgh Penguins (screw you, A.D.), and well, you guessed it… lose in 6 games.

2017 – Los Angeles Dodgers win the National League pennant for the first time since 1988. Run into the garbage men, Houston Astros, and despite their cheating, the Dodgers still send the series to 7 games… but lose.

2018 – Los Angeles Dodgers win the National League pennant for the second straight year. This time facing a different team full of cheaters, the Boston Red Sox. They were a little better at cheating… lose in 5 games.

Even Cedar Point would reject putting this roller coaster of emotions in their park.

Now, I’m no martyr when it comes to sports fandom. My favorite teams have obviously had their fair share of successes. There are teams who have never experienced a championship. There are teams that have gone through playoff droughts. There are teams who are the Mets. But nearly everyone who has had success in one sport has experienced triumph in another. Even Cleveland fans. Not me. All of my teams have always come up short. And at times, in some of the most painful ways. Especially the Dodgers.

The number of Kershaw jokes and memes, the number of choking jokes and memes, the number of cheating teams they’ve had to lose to in the World Series. They’re now all just footnotes. Maybe the Dodgers don’t win one again. They are on pace to win again in 2052, but maybe I’m not alive to see it. Hell, there were points where I thought I’d never see one. My wife may be more relieved than I am with all the sulking she’s endured over the last decade. All I know is tonight, the Dodgers are World Champions.

And look, I’m fully aware that the Dodgers are not exactly a beloved team in baseball. In fact, I’d be willing to bet most baseball fans hate the Dodgers and love to see them fail. I get it. I mean, your favorite team probably sucks, but I get it. I’m self-aware enough to know that a lot of people hate my favorite team. That’s fine. Because deep down, I probably hate your favorite team and or would eventually grow tired of them if they had sustained success. That’s how sports tend to work. So trust me when I say, I get it. But I also don’t care. Because tonight, the Dodgers are World Champions. اربح المال من الانترنت

The 32-year-old gorilla who had been perched on my shoulders (and more so the players, especially that one player named Clayton Kershaw) has finally crawled off and is going to find somewhere else to live. Screw you, monkey. Because tonight, the Dodgers are World Champions.

You want another overly dramatic thought? My birthday is in late October, and every year for my birthday for 28 of the last 31 years, I’ve had to watch some other MLB team not named the Dodgers play in the World Series. And for 31 of those 31 years, I’ve had to watch some other MLB team not named the Dodgers hoist the Commissioner’s Trophy high in the air. And it sucked. But that’s all flushed away. Because tonight, the Dodgers are World Champions.

The Dodgers won their final game of the season.

As I sip this Johnnie Walker, all I can think about is how the last time the Dodgers won a World Series, I was probably sipping pumped boob milk, and let me just say, this scotch-whiskey blend tastes a little bit better.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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