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Sports Are Gay

PLEASE NOTE: This post is meant entirely in fun.

Yeah, you read correctly with that title. And no I don’t mean the “other” definition of the word meaning: “adj. — having or showing a merry, lively mood.” Sports are legitimately homosexual. I’m not preaching on whether or not being gay is a good or bad thing or not. I’m just here to prove that sports are the Lance Bass of activities.

I know this may be a tough pill to swallow for some of you. And I’d like to apologize. I’d also like to apologize for including the word swallow in a post about something being gay. But nevertheless, sports are about as gay as Clay Aiken and Ricky Martin kissing on a moped in the middle of a gay rights parade while wearing mesh t-shirts and ass-less chaps over a rainbow Speedo while blaring the Weather Girls hit, “It’s Raining Men” over their Zune player boom box. Seriously.

And I have proof. See for yourself. (I’m not sure why you would want to, but you can click on the images to make them larger):

Usually Phil Mickelson is behind Tiger Woods. But Elin got mad.

The Green Bay Packers is short for the Green Bay Fudge Packers.

This is an act of the (Blue) Devil.

Two sweaty guys with nothing on but spandex underwear with tassels. Did you really need this picture to prove to you that wrestling was gay?

Hockey is obviously gay. Why else do you think it’s so popular in Canada?

More like Derek Jeter and Gay-Rod.

Replace that ‘M’ with a ‘G’ and this picture will be perfect.

At least wait until the 7th inning stretch, guys!

This is obviously the only time when Brian Scalabrine will ever get an uncontested dunk… When the other team is trying to make out. (It’s no wonder Chris Bosh decided to play for Miami with his “best friends”)

Of course, we all knew that soccer was gay.

That’s right… Stretch it out… Stretch it out… I’m talking about his hamstrings, perverts.

In the middle of your rugby match is no time to get your teammate to search for cuts or bruises. Rugby is obviously gay.

I don’t know what’s gayer, this coach/player interaction between Vinny Del Negro and Kirk Hinrich, or Kirk Hinrich’s red and black Converse sneakers.

I don’t even have a joke for this picture. Just look at those two suited guy’s faces.

This is almost as bad as Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter (which he apparently thought was important enough to share here). He also wears pants everyday.

Austin

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