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Monday, February 10, 2025

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Some Doofus Football Writer Ranked Derrick Henry As The 5th Best RB In The NFL, So I Ripped Him A New Butthole

Take starts at the 49:02 mark

So I was tipped off yesterday by my guy Brent Dougherty (from 3HL on 104.5 The Zone) that some doofus named Matt Williamson from Pro Football Focus NFL Network Pro Football Network wrote an article about the top running backs in the NFL and Derrick Henry wasn’t ranked first. He wasn’t ranked second. He wasn’t ranked third. Hell, he wasn’t even ranked fourth. This boob doesn’t even consider Derrick Henry to be on the Mount Rushmore of current running backs in the league. I’m sorry, but did Earl Thomas write this article?

How does the NFL’s back-to-back rushing champ, the running back

The only way Derrick Henry should EVER be ranked 5th is if you’re referring to his standing with most rushing yards in a single season (which he is currently ranked 5th all-time) or his rushing yards from last season… if you ONLY counted his yards after contact. That’s not a joke either. If you only took his rushing yards AFTER CONTACT he would still rank him fifth among running backs in total rushing yards. But sure, try and tell me why Dalvin Cook is a better running back than him.

I don’t even want to link to this dude’s article, but I will anyway in case you want to see why he ranked CMC, Saquon, Alvin Kamara, and Dalvin Cook ahead of the man who led the league in rushing yards, rushing touchdowns, carries, first downs, yards per game. You want me to keep going? Here’s what Matt wrote about Derrick:

5. Derrick Henry, Tennessee Titans

All Henry has done is lead the NFL in rushing for two straight years. On a yards-per-game basis, Henry topped the league by over 15 yards more than the second-place finisher.

Henry is a force of nature with the ball in his hands. So why is Henry down at No. 5 in these rankings? The reality is that there is a case to put him first because he is so unique, but Henry just doesn’t contribute enough as a pass catcher. Still, this guy has scored 49 touchdowns over his last 45 games — that’s remarkable. 

via Pro Football Network
What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever

Sound the damn ???? #TAKESIREN! ????

So I decided to go in on this doofus on the radio yesterday. Which I did, as you can watch above (the video should start right at the start of the take – the 49:02 mark). Enjoy.

Also, LOL at the first comment that came in after my take on their YouTube stream from Michael Otto, who wrote, “First good take from Austin Huff.” Ha! Um, ok. Thanks, YouTube commenter Michael Otto. At least Bryan, Alex, and Mr. Caples enjoyed it.

https://twitter.com/bryanhrpsgt12/status/1395120983263088643

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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