SNL Gave Us A Look At The Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles And It’s As Sad As You’d Think

A little over a week ago, we hit the 30-year anniversary of the release of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. This week, Saturday Night Live gave us a look inside the lives of the Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles, and it’s as depressing as you’d expect mutant ninja turtles to be when hitting mid-life.

Notice how there was no Splinter? Probably because he’s dead. The life expectancy of a rat is 12 months, so imagine the life expectancy of a rat who dabbled in some radioactive ooze is. In fact, he probably died after the third movie when the turtles time traveled to China.

This felt like one of those TMZ Where Are They Now posts come to life. Sometimes it’s just best to leave your childhood heroes alone. The image we have in our heads of them is probably best. I don’t need to see Donatello making mortgage payments or Leonardo taking his car to get its oil changed. Gah, getting older sucks.

*sigh* Cowabunga, dudes.