Should Sam Darnold Remain The Jets Starting QB Or Get Mono Again? Let’s Weigh The Options

New York Jets quarterback Sam Darnold is once again helming the offense of the continually inept New York Jets. Despite copious attempts by the organization to get things back on track—dare I say to the early Mark Sanchez-Rex Ryan days during which they made two AFC Championships—the Jets again find themselves at the bottom of the barrel. And surprise, surprise, things are looking no less dismal in 2020.

After losing star running back Le’Veon Bell and talented rookie wideout Denzel Mims to the dreaded injured reserve list, Darnold is stuck with a depleted set of weapons that includes little Jamison “Manhattan Clam” Crowder, perpetually disappointing speedster Breshad Perriman, and injury-prone tight end Chris Herndon. And don’t forget about head coach and playcaller, Crazy Eyes Adam Gase, who we all knew would fail the minute he was hired ahead of last season.

Staying on last season, Darnold was forced to miss three games after being diagnosed with mononucleosis, and his return was virtually useless to a team that was well out of legitimate contention by the time he returned. All circumstances considered, one might ponder the question: Is having mono possibly better than being the Jets quarterback?

Let’s help Darnold decide. With just one year left on his rookie deal after the 2020 season, his future may depend on it.

Origins

Mono, which is caused by the Epstein-Barr virus (insert myriad distasteful jokes here), is often referred to as the “kissing disease.” So theoretically, it could be quite easy for Darnold to contract it again. Being the more handsome quarterback in America’s largest metropolitan area, Darnold could likely find many people to smooch. However, health experts agree that it’s rare to get infected with mono twice, so he’d have to be quite diligent in his efforts. And in a pandemic-ridden world, he has a much better chance of getting COVID-19, which could serve a similar purpose but is a bit more risky in regard to long-term health.

As for being the Jets quarterback, Darnold already has that job, and he’ll keep it as long as he’s healthy. But that doesn’t necessarily play to his advantage looking forward. For example, Mark Sanchez spent the first five years of his career with the Jets, but even after a few successful seasons to start his career (mostly defense-driven success), Sanchez saw his career morph into irrelevance quickly, accelerated by lowlights such as the “butt fumble.”

Darnold’s young career has already been less successful than the likes of Sanchez, and digging out of a deep hole like this could warrant such drastic measures as re-contracting mono. However, finding somebody with mono to kiss would be a heavy lift, possibly involving breaking into a sick person’s house to get it. (OK, this is getting pretty creepy, but it’s kind of funny if you picture him in full uniform.)

Next Steps

Taking this analysis a week or so into the future, let’s say Darnold is somehow able to re-infect himself with mono. As previously noted, he missed three early-season games last season due to the ailment. So, using that as a benchmark, if Darnold were to get mono ahead of the team’s Week 3 matchup against Indianapolis (we’ll give him one more embarrassing loss to the Niners in Week 2), he would presumably be sidelined through Week 5. That leaves plenty of time for the Jets to go 0–5 to start the season and, thus, the process of quickly removing themselves from any glimpse of playoff contention. At that point, Darnold could personally make the smart choice to focus on his future and sit out the rest of the season.

Now, although we know that being the Jets quarterback for any amount of time is debilitating in and of itself, we are talking about a debilitating sickness here. During Darnold’s time with mono, he would again be experiencing plenty of body-weakening effects, such as fever, fatigue, sore throat, swollen lymph nodes, sore muscles, and loss of appetite. But compare that with chronic muscle pain, constant bruising, developing CTE, depression (a natural result of playing for Gase and the Jets), and more, and decide which is worse. Wouldn’t you take three weeks of essentially a rough flu over three weeks of brain damage?

Beyond 2020

To further make the he-should-probably-get-mono case, consider that Darnold’s general career outlook is in no better place if he plays this entire season anyway. Plus, it’s safe to assume he does not want to be on the Jets for his entire career (who would be?), so he could demand a trade and land at one of many attractive destinations in 2021. 

Depending on how 2020 shakes out, some teams that could show interest in Darnold in 2021 are Chicago, Dallas, Indianapolis, Las Vegas, New England, New Orleans, and Washington—yes, playing for a team without a real name is better than playing for the Jets. If Darnold were to play for one of these teams in 2021, it would give him the one year left on his rookie contract to prove he’s worth the long-term investment. 

Go Get That Mono

After weighing several important factors, it’s clear that Darnold should seek to re-infect himself with mononucleosis. The truth is, the Jets are in constant peril and no NFL player should view this perennial bottom-feeder as an organization to call home. Particularly for Darnold, who has shown plenty of flashes of talent and playmaking ability, it’s totally worth taking one for team “me” and re-contracting an illness that’s not nearly as bad as a full season’s worth of bodily damage. However, if he does not heed this sage advice, his career might soon hear the rising roar of “D-E-A-D! Dead! Dead! Dead!”

This post was written by Sam. Follow him on Instagram: @chad_b_foxxx