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Thursday, April 25, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Share This Message With Every Dog Owner You Know

Have you ever been walking around your neighborhood and noticed a big ole pile of dookie that has gone unattended? Have you accidentally stepped in it? Has it happened to you numerous times? Does it drive you nuts?

This is the nightmare I’ve been living in.

I’ve become obsessed with dog poop. Or this dog poop perpetrator. Or maybe it’s poopertrator. What kind of person decides to get a dog and then make it someone else’s responsibility to clean up after it? How can you watch your dog take a shit and have the audacity to leave it go? As a dog owner myself, I know it’s not the most glorious of tasks. In fact, it’s super shitty and smelly. But that’s the price I pay to have a man’s best friend.

I needed to find out who this poopertrator was, I needed to get to the bottom of it. So I started watching. I was like a neighborhood watch dog. Just waiting, lurking perhaps, to see an unattended poop. Ok, I wasn’t that creepy, but you get my point. When I finally found the poopertrator, I was not surprised in the least bit. I will spare you my thoughts on the poopertrator, but I can finally sleep with 2 eyes closed knowing who has been leaving the unattended bowel movements all over the neighborhood.

I won’t lie, I have thought of retaliation. Believe me, I have THOUGHT about retaliation….

Fortunately for me, a neighbor down the street retaliated. But this retaliation was both calculated and genius.

A sign.

A sign so simple that the message is both blunt and implores the reader to be a better dog owner. The best part: it actually provides a dog bag for the poopertrator. Genius.

What’s worse than a pile of dog shit? Stepping in it. Just ask Old Man Clemens.

A.D.

A.D. is a Steelers season ticket holder and remembers when Wiz Khalifa was good. He hails from Pitt(sburgh), and has swam in the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans.

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