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Tuesday, March 18, 2025

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

My Secrets (Please Read)

If the Mayan’s are right, and we only have a little while longer on this earth, I need to get a few things off of my chest. Some secrets that I have been holding in, waiting for something like the end of the world, so I could talk about all of those things that I had locked away. So if you are reading this today, you are one of the lucky ones. Some are sports related. Some are just not. Get over it.

10. I can’t stop listening to Ne-Yo’s Let me Love You. Also, when I tried to search for that song of iTunes, I started by looking for NEO. Not the same.

9. I was tall for my age so everyone thought I would be good at basketball. Instead I was bad. This actually isn’t a secret.

8. I stopped paying attention to the WWF when the Undertaker was still in it (and when it was still called the WWF). In my head he is still the best.

7. I believe Lil’ Wayne is what happens when you get Shaquille O’Neal wet.

6. I will always laugh at Gremlins jokes (see: secret number 7) and I will always be up for a conversation about which house you would have been in if Hogwarts was a real school.

5. One time a football player wanted to date me until he asked what I was doing one afternoon and I said, “watching Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.”

4. I think Karl Malone is the worst.

3. Even after all I know about Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter, I would still say yes if they asked me on a date.

2. I often do extra pushups in case Erin Andrews ever takes me up on my street fight idea.

1. I can eat a jar of peanut butter in like three days. I really like peanut butter.

Those are my only secrets. Man. I feel so much better now. Enjoy your last few days on earth.

XO. That’s right. I signed this XO, because you are in The Ladies Room.

• • •

This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @KBLadiesRoom – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

As always, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our up-to-the-minute sports jokes: @korkedbats

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