Thursday, June 20, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Hey Rex Ryan, Here’s A List Of Better Partners Than The One You Chose For ‘The Amazing Race’

It has been six years since Rex Ryan last coached in the NFL, so he is now shifting gears to a different competition. CBS announced Ryan will be a contestant on the upcoming season of The Amazing Race. The current ESPN analyst will partner with Tim Mann, who Entertainment Weekly says is a probation officer and Ryan’s golf partner, to form a duo in Season 34.”

via Sports Illustrated

If you haven’t heard the news, former NFL Coach Rex Ryan is set to compete in season 34 of The Amazing Race on CBS. This is extremely exciting news for anyone still living in a world where they are preparing for Y2K. With the news coming out of Ryan being a contestant, we also have learned who his partner will be, and honestly, its more disappointing to me than finding out that The Amazing Race is still on television.

Rex has decided to team up with his long-time golf partner, Tim Mann. Now, I’m not trying to disparage a man who hails from the same area as Korked Bats’ fearless leader and Brentwood Bruin Legend, Austin Huff. I’d never. Especially since I now consider myself a Nashville native, having lived here for 2 months. And I’m sure Tim is a great guy. But Rex could have picked a couple of people that would have made the viewing experience more enjoyable for the audience.

Mark Sanchez

The duo that gave us the butt fumble would have been an unstoppable force on the amazing race. Unless, of course, one of the other teams had Brandon Moore. Either way, if you get a tattoo of your wife wearing a certain player’s jersey, I think that should automatically give said player dibs on being your Amazing Race Partner. If I were in charge, that’s the first rule I’d make, right before I canceled the show. Speaking of Michelle Ryan…

Michelle Ryan

Look. This is for one reason, and one reason only. With all the running and activities done while competing on The Amazing Race, can you imagine the amount of foot rubs Michelle would need? Rex would be in heaven. They could have a weekly foot massage counter. Instead, Rex chose his golf buddy. I’m sure this won’t cut down on the number of times Rex hears Michelle say “Didn’t you just spend 4 hours on the course with Tim yesterday? Don’t you guys ever get sick of each other?” Honestly, I’m just trying to look out for Rex in this scenario.

Rob Ryan

And finally, the one I might be most upset about. Imagine the Ryan brothers running around *checks notes* Germany, Austria, Italy, France, Spain, and Iceland, just to name a few of the places. The only reason I can think that this wasn’t Rex’s choice for his partner, is because CBS already has the pilot in the can for the sitcom they are creating revolving around these two guys. If this was the pairing, I may have actually shown up to the finish line, which will be here in Nashville.

Now, I’ll do what most people do, and probably definitely just miss the whole thing.


MOB lives in Nashville, Tennessee and is one of the co-hosts of The CineBoiz Podcast. Some would say he peaked in 3rd grade when he led his soccer team in scoring with 2 goals.