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Revisiting the UCLA v. Arizona Fight

This post is a Guest Post from Steve Halbert. Steve is currently living in Knoxville, Tennessee while looking for a job. You should hire him. He’s funny.

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There is so much win in this video, it’s not even funny.

Here’s a break down of everything that you need to observe from this gem:

:03 – Some silly kid runs on the field, blowing his whistle.  I admire this person for several reasons.  First of all, it takes some kahunas to run on the field during a game, dressed like a ref, and stop the play.  Not to mention he’s probably the smallest person on the field by a few inches and dozens of pounds.  Nevertheless, he succeeds in stopping the play.  Well played, young man.

:10 – And he’s off.  Look at how slow that acceleration is.  No explosion whatsoever. #WhiteBoyProblems

Here’s where things just get all sorts of insane, so we’ll split them up into multiple timelines.

From The Ref’s Point of View:

Keep your eyes trained on the ref in the white hat with the “R” on the back of his shirt.  This is hilarious.

:10 – :14 – He chases the streaker like Michael Myers from the Halloween series.  ”I’ll catch him if I walk all creepy like in this direction.”  I’m assuming he was still trying to process everything that just happened, but he sure did it in the slowest and creepiest way possible.

:20 – After strutting away nonchalantly, the ref decides to throw up some gang signs.  Clever.

:27 – This where it all hits the fan.

:27 – :30 – He chases down a player while yelling “Hey!” repeatedly.  Yeah, that’s gonna stop them.

:32 – Yes, the ref just threw a punch.  Nothing pisses off “Ole Stripey” like some disorder.

:34 – He almost loses his hat.  We are now witnessing this man’s life flashing in front of him.

:36 – “Screw this.”  I’m sure that this moment for the ref was like that scene in Saving Private Ryan where Tom Hanks goes deaf and just watches people get shredded by shrapnel and machine gun fire on the beaches of Normandy.  I’m glad that he made it out alive.  You did it, ‘Ole Stripey.

Back It Up Just A Little Bit For A…

:30 – BODYSLAM!

No. 1 for UCLA is Just Having A Bad Night:

:51 – #1 for UCLA is a little emotional about the goings on for the evening.  His teammates help him off before he roundhouses someone.  Apparently they know something about #1 that Arizona doesn’t.  I imagine #1 yelling “Let the secret weapon handle this!  Let the secret weapon handle this!”  Naming yourself the secret weapon and talking about yourself in third person is so California.

Arizona Knows How To Celebrate:

1:10 – The Arizona players get the crowd back into it for the last play of the first half.  The two players pointing at the crowd and holding their hands up to signify a victory obviously watch a lot of boxing and MMA.  Hold those arms up and let the judges know that you won.  I like it.

The Security Loves It:

1:13 – A security guard or field agent or whatever the hell they’re called runs up to #91 almost as if to say, “You did it champ!  You did it!”

You’re In Trouble Now…

1:17 – Here’s a grand idea.  How about you NOT yell at your coaches?  We should all be so grateful that the ESPN crew was smart enough to capture this rare insight into some Zona punishment.

More Team Bickering:

1:43 – A UCLA player yells at his coach and fellow teammates, “I told you we should have unleashed the secret weapon on them!”

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!

1:47 – If you listen closely, you can hear girls screaming in the background of the video as the streaker from the game actually runs by their living room window and bangs on the glass.

Ref ‘R’ Is Back At It:

1:55 – Our friend ‘R’ is trying to wrap up this first half and get out of there.  He convenes with his squad of referees to tell them about his almost losing his hat and going deaf for a few short moments.

SIDEBAR:


I would like to take this time to point out that the announcers totally blew a golden opportunity to do something awesome like THIS!  I bet your forgot about that didn’t you?  Just listen to the announcer go off at 1:46.  It’s gold.

Spirit Fingers and Mean Mugs:

2:16 – There is nothing tougher than spirit fingers and mean mugs.  If you are an Arizona fan, and this is not your new Facebook picture, you are doing it wrong my friend.

“Let’s Go!”

3:04 – These guys are ready!  They’re feeling it!  They’re about to take the field and… run back down the halls and into the locker room for halftime.  ”Let’s go!  Let’s go!” — to a commercial break?  To the locker room for halftime?  To the sideline?

Our Favorite Part:

4:06 – you can totally see the streaker running in the background while the WRs and DBs play push-n-shove-magnet-helmets.  And why can’t the announcers just call the streaker a streaker?  ”There’s the distraction in the background.”  No Craig James, I believe that is a streaker. Yes, a streaker.  A distraction would be, oh let’s say, what you and your son did to the Texas Tech football program.  I think that’s a little more fair.

A Tale of Two Sidelines:

4:35 – Look at how totally bummed the UCLA sideline is compared to the Arizona sideline.  They didn’t win the game, they didn’t win the fight.  They really had nothing to keep their heads up about.

What a great four and a half minutes of football though.  I’m just grateful that the ESPN camera crew and editors cared enough about the brawl to catch this thing from every angle and from the perspective of several different players, coaches, and refs.

A+ work UCLA and Arizona, just A+.

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Want more of Steve and is incredible wit? Follow him on Twitter: @StormTheGate

Or if you enjoyed his writing, check out his website: StormTheGateOnline.com

Also, for up-to-the-minute sports jokes, follow Korked Bats on Twitter: @korkedbats

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