Saturday, June 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Reminder: Even Though They’re Not Billing You Yet, Cancel Your MLB.tv Subscription

Baseball sucks right now. And the only way to truly send a message to those overpaid swines sitting in the owner chairs of every MLB franchise is to take punch right in the only thing they care about – their wallets. And you’ll have to swing hard because I imagine those out-of-touch dullards still rock George Costanza billfolds and won’t be able to feel anything less than a swing from Mike Trout wielding a sledgehammer.

Anyway, everyone’s MLB.tv accounts automatically renew on March 1st, so make sure you go in and cancel your subscription tonight. Either log onto the website or if you have your automatic payment set up through your AppStore, then you’ll have to cancel it that way. The latter is what I had to do.

But make sure you do it. Not now, but right now. I know the tweet above is trying to keep you from leaving… But screw them. They locked out their own players and now they wanna lock you in? Send them a message. Best case, the season starts on time and you can re-subscribe. And hell, while you’re at it, stop buying MLB merch. Don’t buy MLB The Show when it drops. (Easier said than done, I know.) But if we cut the game where it cares the most, it will send the biggest message we possibly can send.

Look, we can rant and rave on Twitter all we want. Bryce Harper can joke about playing in Japan all he wants. And Jeff Passan can absolutely and so masterfully obliterate the league and their gap-toothed commissioner all he wants. But at the end of the day, those blue hairs in the owners’ suites aren’t living online. We know this because they’re still in the 20th century. Hell, that’s why many of them still wear three-piece suits to the game like they did during the great depression. And that’s why they don’t care about the great depression they’re creating among fans. For one, they don’t see it, so they just don’t care. But if you were them, why would you care as long as you continue to get filthy rich whether they play or not. And the commissioner already thinks the trophy they play for is a “piece of metal” so what the hell does he care? So let’s do everything we can to cut away at their bottom line while the sport (read: owners and their Strahan-mouthed commissioner) refuses to let their players play. And not the first time either. Lest we forget the pandemic when we were without sports for months. Baseball could’ve very easily have been the FIRST sport safely back, but instead they argued over dollars and cents and ended up being the THIRD major sport back. Screw baseball. (I love baseball, it’s one of my favorite sports.) But screw Madonna Mouth and the filthy-rich owners he protects every single day.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.