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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Reel In The Riches! Here Are Gator’s Best NFL Picks On The Internet – Week 10

Bad news, sports fans, Week 9 delivered us our first losing week on the season. But don’t tell anyone. Going into Monday night, we had a chance, but the Patriots couldn’t cover. 6-7 might be good enough to win the NFC East, but as a pick-making guru, I need to do much frickin better. Yes, my overall record is still 25+ games over .500, but I’m still disappointed. Diamonds are made in intense pressure, and hopefully the pressure I’m feeling this week is enough to deliver a slate of winners.

Colts @ Titans (IND -1)

HASHTAG SAD

For once, Thursday Night Football is not a game that we have to grin and bare! This appears to be a match up that will determine who will come out on top in the AFC South. Although the Titans beat the Bears last week, and the Colts were handled by the Ravens, the Colts are slight favorites. This a toss up, but I do know that Philip Rivers can’t embarrass himself more than he did trying to make a tackle last week. I also think he will find a way to stay out his defense’s way long enough for the Colts to pull out a squeaker.

PICK: Colts 22, Titans 20

Buccaneers @ Panthers (TB -6)

Crappy showing, old man

Wow, after watching Brady last Sunday night, people might be quick to think that Father Time has finally caught up to the old fart. Count me as one of those people! We’re all about to witness one of the greatest second half collapses of all time down in Tampa. It starts this week as the Panthers pull off the improbable upset.

PICK: Buccaneers 24, Panthers 28

Texans @ Browns (CLE -3.5)

What an idiot

Are the Browns a good team? Are the Texans a bad team? If you look at records alone, that would be the impression you’re left with. However, the Texans have a legit young quarterback and the Browns have Baker Mayfield… I want to make this really clear, Baker Mayfield is barely good enough to be a backup on most teams, and he is only the starter in Cleveland because they took him first overall. I’ve already predicted one collapse, now I’m predicting two. Sorry Cleveland!

PICK: Texans 23, Browns 20

Football Team @ Lions (DET -4.5)

This man was replaced by Colin Kaepernick and Patrick Mahomes

The absolute worst game of the week right here. Neither of these teams are going anywhere this season and are destined to be 5-11 or 6-10 at best. The only bright spot to this game is that Alex Smith is once again playing after an injury that almost cost him his life. Truly an inspirational story even though he blew them the game against the Giants with 3 interceptions after coming in for an injured Kyle Allen. I wish him the best, but I think he loses a close one.

PICK: Football Team 24, Lions 27

Jaguars @ Packers (GB -13)

Bring Back Blake!

The Jaguars are a really awful football team. This explains why a man named Luton was their starting quarterback last week. Where is Blake Bortles and is it too late for a reunion? 2020 has all made us a little nostalgic, but I miss the days where the Jaguars were decent, and those days included Bortles. Then the Jaguars brought in Foles to replace him, and it has quickly destroyed their franchise. (Why weren’t you watching Chicago?) Let’s make Jacksonville great again by bringing back Bortles! Hooray! Until then, I only see losses for them.

PICK: Jaguars 13, Packers 48

Eagles @ Giants (PHI -3.5)

Still Hilarious

For all of the talk about how bad the NFC East is, the Eagles have a chance to claim a 3 game winning streak and get back to .500. The first game between these two was pretty memorable as the Eagles stormed back from down 11 with 5 minutes left to lock up a great comeback win. Also Daniel Jones fell over. People will probably only remember the latter though. Oh well. I don’t blame them. Eagles win and save the NFC East’s reputation. Kinda.

PICK: Eagles 31, Giants 20

Bills @ Cardinals (ARZ -2)

Epic

Two teams that are fun to watch. Two quarterbacks that are duel threats. Two fan bases that are starved for any sort of success. This is truly a tale of two cities. What am I saying? I’m saying this game is going to play out a lot like a story by Charles Dickens. What does that mean? I don’t know, this is the last game I’m picking, and I’ve run out of steam. Fourth wall broken. Cardinals win. Yay.

PICK: Bills 24, Cardinals 34

Broncos @ Raiders (LV -5)

Love this guy

I just love the fact that Jon Gruden is coaching a good team again. Yes, everyone knows him as the crazy coach who’s the butt of many jokes, but he’s been an offensive guru for over 30 years now. I still don’t think Carr is that good, but under Gruden he seems to have found some sort of groove. This is about the time that everyone is ready to dub the Raiders as a dark horse team to make a playoff run, which means it’s time for an inexplicable home loss to a team they should handle.

PICK: Broncos 34, Raiders 30

Chargers @ Dolphins (MIA -2.5)

So close, yet so far

Even though I had my first losing week, I was dead on the money about the Chargers. I don’t think there’s a worse way to lose a game than how the Chargers lost last week. I don’t believe in curses, but the Chargers are cursed. They will continue to play their hearts out before losing on the last play week after week til the end of time. How can they break this curse?? Simple, move back to San Diego. Until then, enjoy football hell, Chargers fans (both of you), and accept my deepest condolences.

PICK: Chargers 33, Dolphins 36

Seahawks @ Rams (LAR -2.5)

This should be fun!

There’s a lot of people saying the NFC West is the best division in football (except for the Dolphins who think they’re trash). If the Rams win, there could be a 3 way tie at the top of the division at 6-3. Here at Korked Bats, we love chaos. This should be a great game that could go either way, but we’re going with the Rams because madness is fun! That’s why we dedicate a whole month to it!

PICK: Seahawks 31, Rams 34

49ers @ Saints (NO -8.5)

All-Time Passing Touchdown Leader!

Who knew the Saints defense was legit? Oh wait, they went 13-3 last year? Oh wait, they were on a 4-game winning streak before crushing Tom Brady? So why were we shocked when they crushed the Bucs? No seriously, I need to know because even I was stunned at their dominance even though they’ve been the best regular season team in the NFC for half a decade. Also, pour one out for the Niners. Try again next year.

PICK: 49ers 14, Saints 35

Bengals @ Steelers (PIT -8.5)

Feel Better!

The Steelers were having a pretty great 2020. Any season that begins with 8 wins is a good one. That’s all great, but in 2020 you cannot escape misery no matter how hot you’re running. Pittsburgh’s misery comes in the form of Big Ben on the COVID list. Now we don’t know if he has it or if he’s gonna play or not, but the way 2020 has gone, I’m predicting he misses the start. I’m also predicting this opens up the window for Burrow to give the Steelers their first loss.

PICK: Bengals 24, Steelers 20

Ravens @ Patriots (BAL -7)

ANDDDDD ACTION!

It’s official, the Patriots stink. Yes, they beat the Jets, but they needed a miracle comeback to do so. The dynasty is over in New England, and I couldn’t be happier. I think Belichick knew before we did though. A man who never appeared in any ads during his 20 years on top of the NFL world just happens to start shooting Subway commercials this year? You’re not fooling me, Bill. You knew this team was trash, and are ready to move on to the acting portion of your life. God speed, cheater, god speed.

PICK: Ravens 34, Patriots 17

Vikings @ Bears (MIN -3)

That face you make when you destroy your team

Welp, the Bears are in full meltdown mode. They have a winning record, yet are underdogs at home against the 3-5 Vikings. This is a clear example of how an NFL coach can destroy a team. The Bears were 2-0 when Coach Nagy pulled the plug on Trubisky, and although it seemed to work for a few weeks with Foles, the wins were a fluke. Now the Bears offense seems to be hopeless, and fans are ready to go back to Trubisky. Absolutely hilarious, but also fitting for Foles as he’s been horrible on every team besides the Eagles. Bears lose again and Nagy is on the hot seat.

PICK: Vikings 31, Bears 16

Gator Flint

Gator Flint is Philadelphia born and bred. He's a lover of all things sports. He writes what’s on his mind and his girlfriend proofreads it so he don’t sound too dumb. #GoBirds #TrustTheProcess Also, he is not a real gator.

Gator Flint

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