QUIZ: College Football Recruit or Made-Up Name?
It’s National Signing Day. The one day of the year where grown men try to pick up 17-year-old high schoolers and fall just short of becoming red dots on Google Maps. With that comes a circus of young, talented athletes with ridiculous names. So here we are with our third annual Korked Bats Quiz: College Football Recruit of Made Up Name?
We’ll give you the name. You decide whether it’s a real college football recruit or a made up name.The answers are revealed at the bottom.
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1. Blanket Augustus
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2. Terry Meatloof
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3. Zach Sandwisch
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4. DiCaprio Bootle
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5. Plastic Vicarious
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6. Handsome Tanielu
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7. Dakota Holtzclaw
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8. Dakota Q’Russell
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9. Dakota Cru Birdyshaw
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10. Thanksgiving Patrick
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11. Raider Tu Bohedrick
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12. Bo Peek
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13. Brodarius Hamm
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14. Eddie McDoom
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15. Coke Tribecca
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16. Rowdy Frederick
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17. Brady Breeze
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18. Gentle Williams
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19. Optimus Primer
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20. Octavious Cooley
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21. Bread Uptavio-Savory
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22. Sweet-Corn Cakes
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23. Dock Luckie
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24. Rough Slice
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25. Mark McGwire
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26. Super Lazers
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27. Teufagafaga Luafatasaga
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28. Bambi Davis
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29. Hamp Cheevers
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30. Michael Jackson
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Answers:
1. Blanket Augustus – MADE-UP – Who cares if his name is Blanket? Michael Jackson named his kid Blanket, and that guy was FULL of sound decisions.
2. Terry Meatloof – MADE-UP – He’s not real and doesn’t even sound good enough to be recruited.
3. Zach Sandwisch – REAL – West Virginia commit
4. DiCaprio Bootle – REAL – Nebraska commit
5. Plastic Vicarious – MADE-UP – Quick rule of thumb, if it’s plastic, it’s fake.
6. Handsome Tanielu – REAL – BYU commit
7. Dakota Holtzclaw – REAL – Kentucky commit
8. Dakota Q’Russell – MADE-UP – The Q’Russell family named their son after their favorite child actress from the 2003 coming of age drama ‘Uptown Girls’
9. Dakota Cru Birdyshaw – REAL – Southern Miss commit
10. Thanksgiving Patrick – MADE-UP – How can anyone believe a name like that? I mean, who’s last name is Patrick?!
11. Raider Tu Bohedrick – MADE-UP – Yeah, nothing about this name looks real.
12. Bo Peek – REAL – Stanford commit
13. Brodarius Hamm – REAL – Auburn commit
14. Eddie McDoom – REAL – Michigan commit
15. Coke Tribecca – MADE-UP – Fake, but still better than New Coke.
16. Rowdy Frederick – REAL – Tulsa commit
17. Brady Breeze – REAL – Oregon commit
18. Gentle Williams – REAL – Cal commit
19. Optimus Primer –MADE-UP – He’s the illegitimate son of a Transformer and a type of paint
20. Octavious Cooley – REAL – Ole Miss commit
21. Bread Uptavio-Savory – MADE-UP – Sounds like a meal you’d order at Cheesecake Facotry
22. Sweet-Corn Cakes – MADE-UP – This actually IS a meal you can order at Cheesecake Factory.
23. Dock Luckie – REAL – LSU Commit
24. Rough Slice – MADE-UP – He’s fake, but with a name like that, I’d never say it to his face.
25. Mark McGwire – MADE-UP – He’s the former single-season home run champ*** and now the hitting coach for the San Diego Padres.
26. Super Lazers – MADE-UP – No, not real. But he seems like a cool guy, no?
27. Teufagafaga Luafatasaga – MADE-UP – Is he a real person? Nopefagatasaga.
28. Bambi Davis – MADE-UP – It was sad when his mom died.
29. Hamp Cheevers – REAL – Boston College commit
30. Michael Jackson – REAL – Georgia Southern commit