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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Quarterbacks: The Hot Topic

Peyton Manning is the only news Nashville can talk about. It’s either Peyton Manning or the weather. Or stereotypically country music. Being a local Nashvillian, I can attest that we are easily excited by all of these. Now, I don’t mean to put anyone on blast, but if I had a dollar for every girl’s Facebook status that I know that says anything along the lines of, “Come on Titans, lets get that dreamy piece of man candy to Nashville already!” I would have so many dollars that I could start throwing them in fires and not even be mad.

Please stop asking for Peyton Manning and let’s focus on getting the good looking players to play here instead. I don’t know if people realize that Peyton Manning isn’t looking quite as dreamy as he was in the past. Or ever. He isn’t quite as young as he used to be AND he is still just as married to his first love. Let’s send him to be married quarterback buddies with Drew Brees and his beautiful wife. Let him go, Tennessee. We need handsome single quarterbacks to come in. I was always taught to not bring up a problem without a solution. Ladies, try these on for size. While they don’t have as much money, they don’t have as much forehead either.

1. Mark Sanchez

Have you seen this guy? I mean, have you seen him play football? He is so good at football. Kinda. Bud Adams, stop having secret meetings with Peyton and start having meetings with this guy. He is bi-racial and also smart. He can’t help it that he gets mistaken for a young Antonio Banderas when he gracefully moves around the football field. He likes musicals and isn’t afraid to show it? That’s the kind of man the Titans need.

2. Tim Tebow

Oh shut up all of you nay-sayers. He is tall. He has dreamy blue eyes. He has really good penmanship to put those little tiny letters and numbers in his eye black. He probably opens doors for girls. He pays for the meals and then doesn’t expect anything in return. He thinks that Butterfly Kisses is not only a great way to show affection, but also a great song. All of these things help with sports.

But if the Titans are bound and determined to get someone toward the end of their career, then fine. Just give us something to work with. And by something to work with, I mean…

3. Brett Favre

He’s turned into quite the bad boy these days, which the ladies love. We love it until it gets to Tiger Woods status, but then still, it might be okay. You will have to watch his cell phone and watch him around the ladies. But lets be real, with what football player is that not the case? Well, except for #2 on my list. And #1 could probably get away with it for a while.

Nashville, I hope you at least try to not bring Peyton Manning here. Please. Matt Hasselback is already taken. Jake Locker married too young, and girls around here are trying to find someone special.

• • •

This post is a part of our bi-weekly The Ladies Room posts for Korked Bats.

Follow The Ladies Room on Twitter: @KBLadiesRoom – Or follow Erin, TLR writer: @erinmcgown

As always, be sure to follow Korked Bats and our up-to-the-minute sports jokes: @korkedbats

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