Saturday, July 13, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Pole Dancing In Arlington

The Texas Rangers probably never expected to be in the position they’re in now. You know, first place, one of the best records in the American League, and no more drug relapses for Josh Hamilton. So obviously, they’re organization had to plan some exciting things to take place to keep people coming out to games this late in the season.

Last night, the Texas Rangers invited the U.S. Army to drop in. Literally, drop in. The U.S. Army Parachute Team known as the Golden Knights made a parachute landing into centerfield before last night’s game. However, things didn’t go according to plan for one parachuter. Is that what they’re called? Parachuters? Because that red squiggly line keeps appearing. But that’s besides the point, we’ll just call them jumpers. (And no not like that crappy Hayden Christensen movie)

Last night, a jumper got caught on a flag pole atop the scoreboard at the Rangers Ballpark In Arlington. Apparently, he just wanted to hang out. But seriously, could you blame him? Parachuting is hard work. He was falling faster than the Seattle Mariners in the standings. It’s kind of hard to just stop. However, the jumper later unclipped himself and dropped a few feet down onto a workers platform.

Here is the local news story on the whole ordeal:

So next time you plan on parachuting into the Rangers Ballpark In Arlington, just be careful of the flag poles. And fireworks night.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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