Sunday, April 21, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Please Join Me In Pouring One Out For Snow Days

The entire East Coast is preparing for what some have dubbed “The Storm of The Century,” “The Biggest of all Time (BOAT)” , “The Colossus of Cloud,” “The Titan of Terror,” “The Sultan of Swat,” “The Great Bambino.” While others are just calling it a “nor’easter.” I wish someone could explain to me how nearly the entire state of Pennsylvania is getting absolutely pounded by this monstrosity of a snowstorm except for Pittsburgh. I’ve lived in Pittsburgh for over a decade at this point and have yet to experience a blizzard of any sort since living here. It’s all I want, to be snowed in with nowhere to go, curled up by my nonexistent fireplace. Ahh. Pure bliss.

You know it’s bad when they’re calling it a “blockbuster” storm. arabic casino They’ve been out of business since 2010. لعبت روليت

And look, I don’t need to sit here and tell you all the people (RIP) and businesses we have lost due to the dreaded COCO. Life has been full of changes these last 9-ish months of quarantine. البلاك جاك

In fact, life during COCO has been full of change. Whether your dog has been wondering why you haven’t gone to work or walking up to grab a pizza and forgetting a mask in your car, changes have been everywhere.

As I was sitting here thinking about how it hasn’t snowed in Pittsburgh for years, it made me realize an unfortunate adverse effect of the aforementioned changes.


Please give a moment of silence to everyone who’s currently in school. COCO has taken yet another soul. And this time it’s the joy of little kids. Thanks to COCO forcing kids to attend their classes virtually, kids will NEVER have the opportunity to stay at home and go sledding and make snow angels and throw snowballs and build forts. Even if a school goes back to in-person classes, schools know that students can attend class virtually… how lucky!!! Man, how bad would that suck looking at the snow falling to the ground outside, and then getting yelled at for not paying attention to the damn teacher.

20 years from now, I’m going to put on the movie “Snow Day” and my kids are going to have so many questions. “Daddy, why aren’t these kids going to school?” they’ll probably ask out of curiosity. An entire movie about something that no longer exists. Guess we can put this in the same category as Jurassic Park.

The roads may be closed, but you can tell it’s an old movie because schools aren’t shut.

Wow. Talk about sad. Pour one out for snow days. You could say they had a good run. But honestly, this is great material for when I’m an old grandpa. We’ll finally be able to retire that old saying “I used to walk uphill 15 miles both ways to school in the middle of a blizzard” and replace it with “Before they gave everyone laptops in school, they would shut down the entire school sometimes even with just a threat of snow.”


A.D. is a Steelers season ticket holder and remembers when Wiz Khalifa was good. He hails from Pitt(sburgh), and has swam in the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans.


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