You make think that the 2009 release of the Lonely Island song, “I’m On A Boat” was the beginning of the fad, “Being On Boats.” But as I’ve learned from Wikipedia, boats have actually been around for a long time. And almost as long as there have been boats, there have been people on them. This may be heard to comprehend, but I promise. In fact, in the Bible, there is a story about a guy named Noah. This guy was practically famous for his boat. And then there was the movie Titanic, that I’m pretty sure was based on a true story. But whether it was or not, they were still on a boat in that movie and that movie came out well before “I’m On A Boat” was released. As if you need further proof, the 1987 Los Angeles Lakers are here to save the day and prove that not only was hanging out on boats cool well before Andy Samberg ever looked like Bob Dylan, but they also claim the title for the most random team in NBA history.
Just when you thought the 1987 Lakers posing on a yacht was about as random as you could get, the Lakers decided to make things even more random. Both Magic Johnson and Kareem Abdul-Jabar are holding fishing poles, which, aside from the fact they are professional basketball players, seems to be the most normal thing in this photo. You can at least draw a correlation between fishing poles and being on a boat.
However, the other props that the Lakers are holding are just boggling to the mind as to why they have these for any reason, much less to pose for a picture on a boat.
Let’s start with A.C. Green’s (front) possession of a Cabbage Patch Kids Doll. That makes about as much sense as the plot to the movie Napoleon Dynamite. Or how about Kurt Rambis? What the heck does he have? No, I’m not talking about the toy fish he is contemplating kissing. I’m talking about those ridiculous glasses he’s wearing. He has got to win the award for either the nerdiest looking professional athlete or at least the superlative of most likely to look like Ned Flanders when he grows up.
And then there is that random guy in a 1920’s full body swimsuit. I honestly think that guy snuck onto the boat right before this picture was taken. That is my only explanation for a short white guy dunking an inflatable globe on a Fisher Price basketball goal being in this picture.
Finally, I would just like to thank Michael Cooper for being the only person in this picture to keep his sanity to hold a basketball in a photo shoot for a professional basketball team. I swear if this team wouldn’t have won the NBA Finals that year, they’d never hear the end of it. But unfortunately for us, they did, and no one has even hinted at the ridiculousness of this photo since.