Monday, April 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Pick Six: NFL Week 3

Yeah, I didn’t have a great week last week. I didn’t make good decisions. You know who else didn’t? Adam Levine. Ime Udoka. Brett Favre. That’s right. Brett Favre is out here (allegedly) using his celebrity to take money away from people of need in Mississippi of money that could have greatly benefited them to get a volleyball stadium built. Ime Udoka is (allegedly) having affairs with multiple women within the Celtics organization. Adam Levine is (allegedly) trying to name his daughter after his mistress (absurd). Yet, with all of this going on you want to focus on my poor performance last week? That’s on you.

I’m not here to point fingers. I own my mistakes. I believed in those picks. I had every reason to make those picks, but they let us down. This one is totally on the teams and their awful play last week. The bettors deserved better. We put our trust in them, and they fumbled it away. Are we just going to sit around and let it happen? No! We’re taking charge. Our destiny is in our hands, now. We’re taking back control, baby! This week, they won’t sabotage our picks out of spite. I am confident.

The craziness that started in Week One continued in Week Two. The Jets bounced back to beat the Browns. Giants improved to 2-0. Jaguars shutout the Colts. Dolphins pull off a miracle win in Baltimore. Rams can’t cover against lowly Falcons. Bengals fall to 0-2 and can’t beat a Cowboys team without their starting quarterback. Broncos fail to cover against Texans. Oh, and what happened with the Raiders? Wild week. This week, can’t be as unpredictable. We’ve got this.

Here are the six picks I am most confident in this week, along with the Dog Of The Week.

Kansas City Chiefs @ Indianapolis Colts Line: KC -5.5

The Colts enter Week 3 without a win which is surprising. We know they’re going to bounce back at some point, they are better than they’ve been playing. With that being said, I don’t see it being against the best team in the NFL. Even with this game being at home for the Colts, I still expect Mahomes to go in there and pull of the win. Chiefs should be able to cover this one by at least 6 points.

Pick: KC-5.5 Chiefs 30 Colts 23

Cincinnati Bengals @ New York Jets Line: CIN -6

This is not the way the Bengals wanted to start their season. They are 0-2 after making a run all the way to the Super Bowl last season. Just like in the Super Bowl, Joe Burrow is taking a lot of sacks to start the season. Thankfully, getting to the QB is not something the Jets do very well. Burrow should be comfortable and on his feet for most of this game, allowing that offense to do what it does best: put up points. I think we’re going to see a more recognizable Bengals team this week.

Pick: CIN -6 Bengals 40 Jets 24

Buffalo Bills @ Miami Dolphins Line: BUF -5.5

The Hyde and Poyer injuries have me a little bit concerned here. But I like the spread where it’s at and still feel fine taking the Bills in this one. I’m going to put my money on Tua returning to what we’ve seen more consistently in his career, compared to the flash we saw last week. Maybe I’ll get burned, but I bet on patterns. I don’t think he’s going to throw 6 touchdowns in this game. Josh Allen could though? I think the Dolphins can keep this one close, but Bills will cover. Should be one of the better games this week.

Pick: BUF -5.5 Bills 27 Dolphins 20

Philadelphia Eagles @ Washington Commanders Line: PHI -6.5

Wentz playing his former team doesn’t really excite me. I don’t care. I don’t think the Eagles do, either. So far, they are looking like the team who could end up representing the NFC in the Super Bowl. Who else could it be? Rams look blah. Packers aren’t the same. Brady doesn’t believe in the Bucs. I thought it could be the Vikings but the Eagles let them have it last week, so now it’s looking like they’re the team to beat (by my logic). I’ll put my money on that until they prove me wrong, which so far they haven’t. In addition to looking like the best team in the conference, they’re also going against Carson Wentz. Oh yeah, I mentioned that already…but it’s worth a second mention. Washington lost to the Lions last week. The Lions. They also should have lost to the Jaguars. The Jaguars. That tells us all we need to know. My money is on the Eagles.

Pick: PHI -6.5 Eagles 23 Commanders 16

Los Angeles Rams @ Arizona Cardinals Line: LAR -3.5

Kyler Murray had the quarter of his career last week to come back and beat the Raiders. He really put on a show and was impressive. However, the rest of the quarters he’s played this season have been terrible. I think that’s what we’re going to see more of as he goes up against what’s probably the best defense in the league, despite their play to start the season. Murray can’t get away with that video game style play against Aaron Donald. He’s going to have to throw the football, and that plays right into the Rams hands. I expect a fairly close game here, and like that it’s only a 4 point victory that we need in order to walk away with money. That’s nice.

Pick: LAR -3.5 Rams 27 Cardinals 21

San Francisco 49ers @ Denver Broncos Line: SF -1.5

There’s a part of me that still wants to fade myself and bet on the Broncos. They have Russell Wilson! They have a great receiving corps. They also, however, have Nathaniel Hackett as their Head Coach. He has looked so out of place during the first two weeks that it has often been literally cringe worthy. So, instead of fading myself, I’m fading Coach Hackett. I think this Broncos team has to prove to me that they can be the team we all expected entering the season. They’ve burned me twice in two weeks. I’m not falling for it again. Kyle Shanahan is considered one of the better coaches in the league. There’s always so much hype around him. It’s time to prove it. If he’s as good as they say he is then he should be able to easily scheme a win over Hackett and the Broncos. Even if it is with Jimmy G taking snaps. Jimmy G gets wins. It’s all only going to create more drama, and I’m here for it. Okay 49ers…Let’s Ride.

Pick: SF -1.5 49ers 23 Broncos 20

Dog Of The Week: Atlanta Falcons over the Seattle Seahawks. Seahawks have home advantage which is likely the only reason they are favored by a point in this one. Falcons aren’t great by any means, but have kept their losses close. They should have beat the Saints and beat the spread against the Rams. I think they can go into Seattle and come out with their first win of the season.


Cort isn’t just a sports fan, he’s a sports professional. He’s worked for the NFL, NBA, or his local hockey rink. He supports Detroit teams, which means come time for the playoffs, you can recruit him to root for your team!