Saturday, June 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Our Planet Being On The Verge Of World War 3 is Maybe Not A Good Time To Debut Your ‘I Wish I Was Putin’s Mom’ Poem

There isn’t enough cringe on the globe to go around for this one. I’ve never heard of AnnaLynna McCord or her career before today, but now this video will be all I think about whenever I see this Heather Locklear knockoff again. Which I don’t imagine will be any time soon. And speaking of Imagine, the only people who should be thanking you for this video is Wonder Woman and her team of celebrity quarantine karaoke singers. They are officially off the hook for the most tone-deaf, read the damn room video of all time. Literally, a country is being invaded as we speak, and you’re busting out your best coffee shop poetry? Dr. Suess did not die for this. Maybe I’m a little off base here, but when we’re on the brink of a third World War, I take it as “nothing I tweet will possibly help this situation, so I’m not going to tweet.” But unfortunately, there are a lot of people – none more than Putin’s mom here – who think their tweets, nay, their VOICE can make a real impact on people’s lives. Is there no self-awareness here to even imagine what the end game is? You thinking someone will put this Kirkland Signature Jane Austen video in the hands of Putin, he’ll watch it, a lone tear will trickle down his Putin cheek, and as he goes to wipe it away he calls off the invasion? Yeah, I can totally see that happening. Or – and hear me out – maybe if you were Putin’s mom, he’d be an even bigger dick. Look, I can’t believe we need another reminder this soon after Gal Gadot and her Brooklyn Terrible-nacle Choir but I guess, we do… so remember… NEVER TWEET!

Unless of course, your name is Ja….


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.