Saturday, June 22, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Only Took Ten Weeks, But Someone Finally Caught Injured Derrick Henry In Rushing Yards

Congratulations to the not-injured-this week Jonathan Taylor on finally passing Derrick Henry.

This feels like the tortoise and the hare. After leading the NFL by a wide margin for the first 8 weeks of the season, Derrick HAREnry decided to grab a seat and rest up (hopefully for the playoffs). And in that time, that giant Jonathan Taylor Tortoise finally caught up… two weeks later. Notice I didn’t say “passed.” Because technically Jonathan Taylor is currently tied with Derrick Henry in rushing yards at 937 yards.

It took Jonathan Taylor two more weeks of the NFL season to reach that total. There may be some doofuses in NFL media who say Jonathan Taylor is a better back in the NFL. But those dweebs probably haven’t put on shoulder pads since their freshman year of high school. Because anyone with a pulse will tell you they’d much rather square up against J.T. than Derrick Lamar Henry Jr. Derrick Henry is in the NFL’s 2,000-yard club. Jonathan Taylor could launch a mowing business after his NFL career and still never see 2,000 yards.

Colts fans will try and argue, “But Jonathan Taylor got to 937 yards in fewer carries!” So what? He still got there two WEEKS after Derrick did. It took him no less than 14 days to cover the same amount of distance Derrick Henry did. And he only caught him because Derrick was sidelined for the rest of the season. For the first 8 weeks, no one even mentioned Jonathan Taylor in the same breath as King Henry. But now that Derrick has been sidelined for two weeks, now the “J.T. is the NFL’s best running back” soldiers have only grown stronger and more confident. Ok. Sure. Look, if thinking that makes you sleep tighter at night, then go right ahead. But just know you may very well be dying on that hill alone.

Congrats on finally catching Derrick Henry two weeks later. Maybe next week you might actually surpass him!


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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