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Friday, March 29, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Ole Miss Shoots Shot, Asks Alumni To Add School To Your Will In Case You Die of COVID-19

Hotty toddy, gosh almighty.

I can’t even get #madonline about this. In fact, part of me respects it. Someone at Ole Miss actually wrote these words:

In those times, it is beneficial to consider revisiting the content of your will, especially if it was designed years ago, and now needs your attention. Just like your home, your estate plan needs regular maintenance to reflect situations and circumstances you’ve faced.

By adding a bequest in your will, you guarantee that the priorities in your life are matched to your legacy. Also by expressing the philanthropic priorities of your life, you can continue investing in the students, faculty, mission and values of the University of Mississippi.

Ok, first, I find it odd that Ole Miss of all places does not believe in the Oxford comma.

Second, Ole Miss is basically saying: “You’re probably going to die from coronavirus, so make sure we get some of your money when you do.” You know, because it’s not like the school got enough of your money during the 4-5 (or if you’re this chick, the 7) years you spent there.

“My favorite thing about Ole Miss is the education that I receive here…. SIKE!” It’s the emails I get after graduating begging for your money during a global pandemic.

Again, I can’t be mad at Ole Miss here. It’s not like you weren’t getting emails from your school before coronavirus, so they’re just doing their best to continue on with life as normal. If anything, this email is the most normal email Ole Miss grads have received in the last month. At least it’s not an email about COVID-19 from some CEO of a company that you bought one thing from like six years ago.

Ole Miss is having quite the rollercoaster ride of a year. First, they lose the Egg Bowl because a player pretended to pee like a dog, then they fired their head coach, then they hired Lane Kiffin, and now this? And speaking of Lane Kiffin, if anything embarassing came out of Oxford during this pandemic, I assumed it would be Kiff being the first person to break the social distancing mandate just to offer a scholarship to a seventh grader with coronavirus.

But again, shooters shoot, and Ole Miss just through up a Marshall Henderson-type prayer with this thing. At least they’re not trying to re-open their school already like Hugh Freeze’s new school.

Look, you can be offended by this, or you can just delete the email and move on with your (extremely boring for right now) life. These days, there’s no shortage of things to get mad at. Only a shortage of ventilators.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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