Ok Miami Heat, We Get It…

Well, crap.

The Miami Heat are, in fact, good, just like we expected.

I know this should come as no surprise since we, indeed, did predict the Miami Heat to go nearly undefeated.

It’s just, they teased us at the beginning of the year by losing as many games as the Charlotte Bobcats. We loved seeing the evil empire go down in flames, no pun intended. We loved seeing D-Wade and LeBron try and carry the team by themselves on various nights while Chris Bosh was practically only good for looking like a velociraptor. They were as disappointing as Skating With The Stars has been. Not that I’ve been watching it or anything.

But now…

Oh goodness, now… It’s like they won’t stop winning. They are beating everyone. They’re playing like a team that got three of their best players this summer when they secretly decided to team up to play with each other to create the easiest possible scenario for them to obtain an NBA Championship ring.

It’s like when you were in elementary school and you would play your brother, who was in college at the time, in basketball on the ole driveway. He was an all district basketball player in high school but hasn’t picked up the rock since he hung up his uniform two years ago. So obviously, when you start playing his shot is going to be a little off. You’ll get out to a quick lead. You then start teasing him and making fun of him. The family starts watching from the kitchen window. Everyone is noticing and making fun of your older brother and his terrible play. It’s right then when your brother finds his shot and begins to comeback. He ends up finishing the comeback and ultimately dominating you. Your concerned father decides to come outside from the kitchen and play your brother. Wouldn’t you know it? He dominates your father too. Then your mother comes down to play. (I know what your thinking, but in this hypothetical situation, your mother played college ball at Duke and actually spent 3 seasons in the WNBA before having to give it up to give birth and raise your brother… So you already know she’s still bitter) She keeps it close… until the game starts. Your brother dominates her as well. And it is then when you realize, your brother is unstoppable and he will probably win every game he plays from here on out, unless of course he plays the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls. They would beat him.

I know there is probably no one who can relate to that analogy, but that’s exactly what this 2010 season has been for the Miami Heat thus far. They’re your brother… Your brother who kind of looks like a velociraptor.

It’s just, I’m ready for them to going back to being a mediocre team. They can keep winning, I just want them to stop dominating teams. We get it. They’re a really good team with three of the NBA’s biggest superstars in their starting lineup.

Let’s just fast forward to the end of the season. Let’s give the Heat their rings. And let’s enjoy a summer without LeBron James holding the world’s sports media outlets hostage. Then after a peaceful summer, we can sit back and watch the Indiana Pacers go 74-8 the following season. In the words of J.P. from Angels In The Outfield, “It could happen.”

But in regards to the Heat, we understand you’re good, there is no need to brag about it by running up the score, having fake rock concerts and looking like velociraptors?


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.