Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: For The Second Straight Year, We’re Pulling For The NL East In The World Series

For the second straight year, we’re choosing to go ALL IN with the NL East team in the World Series this year. If you remember last year, we changed the name of our blog during the World Series to back the Atlanta Braves.

And this year, we’re back on our same sh*t. We’re going all in on the team in the NL East, and again, it’s for two reasons. The first being none other than our guy Kyle Gibson. Is he the greatest K. Gibson to ever be in a World Series? People are asking.

But we love Gibby. Kyle goes way back with this blog. Like wayyyyyy back.

Kyle was retweeting KB back before Twitter had an official retweet button. He’s an O.G. cool kid. Greatest Twin/Ranger/Phillie to ever live, in our opinion.

And not to toot our own horn, but we may have a hand on this SURGE (shoutout MOB) that the Phillies are going on right now. Allow me to explain. When I used to produce for Jim Rome, he always used to reference Jungle Karma. If you were good to the show, good things would happen for you. It happened all the time. If Von Miller jumped on with us, he’d rack up like 2.5 sacks in his next game. The Jungle Karma was real. Well, I’m not sure if some of that karma rubbed off on me when I left, but good things happen to those who are good to this blog.

From comedian Aaron Chewning getting a World Series win out of his favorite team and launching a very successful golf comedy brand, St. Andre Golf, all the way to Kyle Brandt, who consistently shouts us out on Good Morning Football or his podcast Kyle Brandt’s Basement, and his career has skyrocketed. Are we taking credit for his success? You bet your ass we are. And now we’ve got our guy Kyle Gibson. A guy who literally signed up for Instagram in 2020 just to do an Instagram Live with us. And now? No joke, the Phillies have been unstoppable since Kyle gave us this endorsement at Wrigley Field.

I’m not trying to lift Romey’s schtick here, but there seems to be some sort of Korked Karma here. If you’re good to the blog, good things will happen for you.

But again, we said we’re pulling for the Phillies for two reasons. The second being: the damn Astros.

In last year’s blog, I believe I described the Astros by saying they “suck a big ol’ bag of donkey wangs.” And ya know what? It still holds true. That bag of donkey wangs is still being sucked by the Stros. Where in the hell do you even find a bag of donkey wangs? Call me old fashioned, but I’m still hung up on the fact that the Houston Astros cheated their way to a world title in 2017. So honestly, I hope the ghost of Jorge Soler haunts this team and they lose yet another chance to win a legitimate ring. Until Alex Bregman and Yuli Gurriel are gone and/or Jose Altuve hits puberty, I will always hate the Astros and hope they never win a “piece of metal” ever again.

Plus, here’s a bonus third reason we’re pulling for the Phils: my mom is from Philly. Shoutout Upper Darby High School.

So go Phillies. Go win a ring. And go Kyle Gibson.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.