No More Burgs, Please
After watching “The Future of Baseball” get his second loss against the Atlanta Braves last night, I quickly realized that this Stephen Strasburg fellow might come across as a little overrated. Sure, he doesn’t have much of a defense behind him, but the kid hasn’t done ANYTHING yet and he is already said to be the next 300 game winner. However, I realized that it may not be the “Freshman Phenom” aspect about him that I dislike so much… It is “The Burg” aspect about him. Lately we have been caught in Burgatory and that is all that we hear about.
You are probably asking “Now Chippy Poo, What is a Burg?” And I would say “Don’t call me that” and then pass it off to my girl, M-W:
1 : an ancient or medieval fortress or walled town
2: city, town
But there is one definition that ole Merriam forgot to add… 3: An average or sub-par person or place that has great statistics, but not much quality.
If you don’t believe me, then just look at the proof, it’s in the pudding.
Stephen Strasburg
I thought I would start off with the guy that got me on the topic, the so called “Best Pitcher since Nolan Ryan.” ESPN has been all over this guy for the past year and although he had a stellar college career at San Diego State, he has just been pretty good in the Big Leagues. Sure he has a lot of strikeouts (1.5 average per inning), but he hadn’t played a good team until last night. He currently has wins against two of the worst teams in baseball (Pittsburgh and Cleveland), a loss to the Royals and now another loss to the Braves… without their best hitter! I’m not saying the guy is bad, but I think we need to let him prove himself before putting him on a pedestal.
Pinky Silverberg
Don’t get me started on Pinky up here. In 1927, Fidel LaBarba retires from boxing, leaving his National Boxing Association title up for grabs. Pinky ends up beating Ruby Bradley, #1 ranked boxer, because Bradley gets disqualified from the match. In the very next fight, Pinky is stripped of his title due to an “unsatisfactory showing in a non-title fight.” Looks like you should’ve tried a little harder, Pinky. Maybe you should have had a “Brain.” (That was a terrible joke)
Tom Bergeron
So the “Berg” sound may be at the beginning of this guy’s name, but it is okay, because I have disliked him since the beginning of his career.
Hollywood Squares? More like Hollywood I Don’t Cares
America’s Funniest Home Videos? More like America’s Least Funny Host
Dancing With the Stars? More like This Guy Sucks (that’s the best I could come up with)
Adam Greenberg
I do feel kind of bad for Adam. He has only one Major League plate appearance in his career, and he was hit by a pitch in the back of the head. But look on the bright side, at least you have a 1.000 on base percentage.
Back Yard Burgers
Oh hey, I’m Back Yard Burger. I am always really close to McDonald’s and Taco Bell. No one is ever in my parking lot yet I have still been open for like 25 years. And Chip has never been to me, but he still stereotypes me.
Iceberg
The friggin’ thing sunk the Titanic.
Pittsburgh
Easily my least favorite of the “Burgs.” They have the Steelers, the Penguins, and the Pirates. C’mon who has even seen a penguin or a pirate in Pittsburgh? (Better yet, who has even seen Pittsburgh?) And what is my least favorite thing about Pittsburgh? Ben RoethlisBERGer. Yeah, that is a “Berg” inside a “Burg,” which makes him the worst of them all. Maybe it is something about living in Georgia, but I just feel like I can’t trust the guy around girls.
Truth.
Now
the
Goods!
Although I dislike most people/things with Burg in them. I still like Andy Samberg and Mark Wahlberg. But there is one “Berg” that is better than all of the others:
Wait for it
Wait for it
YEAH!
