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Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

NFL Players Like To Pose In Pictures With Their Cars

Just as the title of this post claims, NFL players like to pose in pictures with their cars. Seriously. That’s right, they’re the exact opposite as me. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a picture with my black 1997 Chevrolet Blazer. But that’s just me.

Believe it or not, NFL athletes drive nicer cars then me. Thus explaining their desire to show them off. However, nothing quite explains their desire to pose in the pictures with them. The only thing this accomplishes is that it further proves the fact that a lot of NFL players wear wife-beaters and sleeveless shirts. Cool, show off your huge arm muscles to go with your sweet cars. Awesome. My self esteem gets torn down faster than a false statement on Wikipedia.com.

Also, please note, not pictured in this post is:

Phillip Rivers with his Dodge Charger that usually breaks down in late winter

Kevin Kolb’s with his car that he actually has only gotten to start once

Tim Tebow with his Pope Mobile

Braylon Edwards car (which if you see this car on the road, especially in the early morning hours, GET OFF THE ROAD!)

Donte Stallworth with his… Well…

Go ahead and see for yourselves that NFL players really like posing with their cars:

Ray Rice drives a Range Rover? Needless to say, he likes alliteration.

Gah, Tom Brady has it all. Beautiful car… Beautiful wife… Beautiful face… Wait, what?

Vernon Davis knows how to play football really well. He knows how to purchase really cool cars. He knows how to dress nice. He knows how to awkwardly pose in pictures.

Thomas Jones shows us his car and how to properly take a dump when camping in the woods.

P.S. England called, it wants Big Ben back. Good gosh, that watch is huge.

Antrelle Rolle didn’t just want to show off his car. He wanted to show off his Mexican friend too.

Devin Hester with the classic “Hey take a picture of me pumping gas so it looks candid” pose.

Mercedes, rims, skin color, wife-beater. I’d say it’s safe to say that Early Doucet loves the color black.

Since he put most of his money into his car, Frank Gore was forced to by his shorts and tank top combo filled wardrobe at Old Navy.

No, Larry Fitzgerald doesn’t own his own car dealership, he just owns that many cars.

In case you were wondering which car was his, Fred Taylor did us the favor of pointing to his car.

This actually isn’t JaMarcus Russel’s car. This is where he works now. A tire shop. He got in trouble shortly after this photo was taken for sitting on the customer’s car.

Austin

Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.

Austin

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