NFL Draft – First Round Recap

Here are some notes from the NFL Draft’s first day:

• I’m sure QB Sam Bradford is fine with being drafted by the St. Louis Rams, but I’m sure he’d feel more at home if he was drafted by the Redskins.
• The Detroit Lions drafted DT Ndamukong Suh. Instead of going after a wide receiver this year, they went after a wide human being.
• The entire Oklahoma Sooners roster (including mascot and cheerleaders) were drafted in the first round of the NFL Draft.
• Notre Dame QB Jimmy Clausen still hasn’t been picked yet.
• Chris Berman’s tie was more flamboyant than Perez Hilton singing any T.A.T.U. song while raiding Elton John’s closet.
• Chris Berman’s tie wasn’t THAT flamboyant, but it was distracting.
• For every white guy that got drafted in the first round, there was a white iPhone that they talked on. Coincidence? Probably.
• What was up with ESPN Analyst Jon Gruden‘s haircut? Or I guess I should ask, what was matted down with Jon Gruden’s haircut?
• Jimmy Clausen doesn’t have an NFL team to play for yet.
• LB Rolando McClain got drafted by the Oakland Raiders. (That’s the joke.)
• Mel Kiper Jr.’s job makes substitute teachers seem busier than the President.
• Philadelphia should have drafted K Barney Gorman. They really need a garbage picking, field goal kicking, phenom.
• The video feed of ESPN Analyst Ed Werder was so glitchy. It seemed like he was joining us live via Chat Roulette.
• Does anyone want Jimmy Clausen?
• This year is the 75th NFL Draft. Not surprisingly, Chris Berman has been to every single one.
• I was nearly certain that the New Orleans Saints were going to draft QB Tim Tebow… As their mascot.
• I was also nearly certain the Dallas Cowboys were going to draft Tim Tebow… Jerry Jones loves Tebow!
• However, it’s the Denver Broncos that Tim Tebow is going to be an NFL bust for.
• Speaking of busts, has anyone drafted Jimmy Clausen yet?
• The Radio City Music Hall honestly looks like a gay bar swallowed a cubicle-filled office building.
• It’s a good thing the Dallas Cowboys drafted WR Dez Bryant, just so Tony Romo has another elite wide receiver not to throw it to.
• The Detroit Lions drafted Ndamukong Suh and RB Jahvid Best. They quickly wanted a “re-do” when they learned that neither one of them is a wide receiver.
• Even Brady Quinn is laughing at the fact that Jimmy Clausen is still on the board.
• There were more white people at Tim Tebow’s house than there are in an episode of Dawson’s Creek.
• DT Dan Williams never sacked Tim Tebow but Tim Tebow sacked every second of William’s press coverage after he was drafted by the Arizona Cardinals.
• USC S Taylor Mays is still available. But then again, so is Jimmy Clausen.