Saturday, July 20, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

Nerds Don’t Know Sports

We all know them. The guys who wear white short sleeve button down shirts, a pocket protector filled with three different colored pens and two mechanical pencils, a pair of glasses with tape in the middle holding them together, their hair parted either right down the middle or on the side, the occasional pair of suspenders, penny loafers, pleated khaki pants that are usually too short, and an uncanny cluelessness for all things sports related.

They’re called nerds.

You can usually find them at comic book stores, libraries, marching band practices, at their respective homes on Friday nights, in the AV Club, LARP gatherings, or on the set of the game show Jeopardy.

Want to know how to really embarrass a nerd?

Ask them a sports question for the Final Jeopardy segment of the game show.

That’s exactly what Trebek did to these nerds. What ensues are one correct answer and two absolutely ridiculous answers. I understand this is a hard question for those who know nothing about sports, but I’d be willing to bet that 90% of America can name at least one NFL team.

In 30 seconds time, the best answer the guy, Marcus, could muster up was: “??” Are you serious Marcus? Like I know you’re a nerd, but that was your best guess? It took you thirty seconds to write two question marks? You couldn’t have even guessed any sports team, whether it was football or not? I feel like this was a clip from SNL’s Celebrity Jeopardy with really ridiculously dumb contestants.

However, as if the only guy on the show not being able to make up an answer was bad enough, the lady next to him answers with: “Jacksonville Panthers”


I guess just stick with Algebra equations, old English literature and facts about weapons of war from the Middle Ages.


Austin hosts a country music morning radio show in Chicago after nearly a decade in sports talk radio (The Jim Rome Show, Steve Gorman SPORTS!) Colin Cowherd and Smash Mouth follow him on Twitter and he wears pants every day.


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