Thursday, June 20, 2024

Korked Bats

That Funny Sports Blog

NBA Jam Preview: Heat, Wizards and Magic

Ok, all, let’s wrap up the East! West coming up soon.

Past Team Previews:

Hawks and Celtics

    Washington Wizards

    Current Players: Yi Jianlian, Andray Blatche, Gilbert Arenas and John Wall
    Legends: Manute Bol and G-Wiz (mascot)
    Arenas may be the Wizards most serious weapon(s owner) here. If Wall’s statistic are based on hype and collegiate ability, that duo would be a force of fun. The addition of the late Manute Bol is a great gesture for gamers, giving the Wizards a nice inside force as well.
    Best Twosome: Arenas and Wall
    • • •

    Orlando Magic

    Current Players: Dwight Howard, Vince Carter and Rashard Lewis
    Legends: Nick Anderson and Scott Skiles
    The Magic, quite simply, are one of the top teams in the game. Carter’s ability to dunk will make him a near-must-start, and Howard may end up being the most effective player in the game. His ability to block, dunk, rebound and body-check (all without fouling out) will make this team very popular. No Pennie Hardaway, however.
    Best Twosome: Carter and Howard
    • • •

    Miami Heat

    Current Players: LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh
    Legends: Glen Rice and Rony Seikaly
    To help minimize the internet content being published about the Miami Heat this offseason, I’ll just stop here: This team is as good as those three players.
    Best Twosome: LeBron and DWade, with the occasional Glen Rice cameo to drop some tre-bombs.
    • • •
    That wraps up the East! The West is coming soon.


    Kyle is a comedian writer, actor, and producer. You may have seen his standup on CONAN, or somewhere else if you’re really into standup. He has appeared on Fuse, Comedy Central, VH1, and more, and he has written for CBS, Comedy Central, TBS, contributed to Roasts, as well as Huffington Post, CNN, The New York Times, Wired, and a really cool site called Korked Bats.


    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.